Being Eve

2007-01-23T08:57:00.000+13:00

Goals for the Year 2007:

Training goals

Continue attending the gym consistantly:

6 days per week, Sunday rest day

Follow planned workouts: 8 weeks to each plan

Lifting goals

Bench my own Body weight (smith machine) 3-5 reps,
Over hand chins un assisted 3-5 reps,
Give 100% effort: There is no point in just going through the motion, I know what I want to look like, and every effort I put in is 1 step closer. Focus, technique, progress!

Diet Goals

5-6 small meals: a day all containing high qual protein, and small amount of good carbs during meals 1,2,3. Every 2-3 hours.

Drink Water: Minimum of 3 lts, which broken down is only 4 x 750ml bottles (easy). Not including shakes and coffee. Reduce number of sugar free sodas!

Plan and record: Plan all meals and have options available so as not to break with plan. record intake, so I can see what is working and what I need to 'tweek'

Work Goals

Organize and simplify: Sort through and file all old work, keep work space clutter free and manageable.

Plan and document: Plan all actions, and work with deadlines.

Develop Yearly Calendar of Work deadlines, Broken into Monthly and Weekly.

Relax: Keep a clear head, be calm, be positive! by achieving 1 & 2

Education Goals

Take courses both through work and personal
1-2 personal training or nutrition classes, Website, Excel, Event management.

Home/Personal Life/Relationship

Organize and simplify: throw out old clothes - wash and give to charity if good condition, sort pictures and junk, sort out all gym gear and work out clothes.

Be more considerate of others: Understand others feelings, be compassionate, and understanding by listening.

Be thankful every day of my relationship with J, of everything he does and what he brings to our relationship. I will not let baggage from past relationships interfere or compear past relationships.

Find interesting ways to spend time together: Use the time we have together to do activities and go places of interest to us both and don’t cost too much money.

Dollars and cents....

Pay off $2,000 visa debt (by June) add $1,000 onto visa so in credit! (By end of year)
save $5,000 by Dec 2007

Have account in the black at the end of each month This to be achieved by July!

Set up Direct Debit for Australia Trip in August for flights and Accommodation.

Short term Goal

lose .75 kgs per week end goal of 12 weeks (60kg)

Major Goal

Compete in BB competition May

I've been out of touch with Blogging for a while, work is busy and all that. I have been keeping a training journal on a NZ Body Building site, so I will copy over that information soon. I am however popping into the bloggs I love - but not posting comments.

2006-12-27T13:58:00.000+13:00

Well that's Christmas for another year!

But I'm not sad - I had a great Christmas - J and I's first one together.

This is a picture taken at my work Christmas Party on the 15th of Dec 2006! You can't really tell but my dress has cherries all on it.. but the cherries are actually red skulls - it's such a cool dress!

We found a gym open on Christmas day and worked out at 8am then back home for breakfast - Protien shake and Oats... yummy!

Got showered and ready to go to my Mum and Dads for Christams Lunch ... Turkey, ham, Roast veg, beans, peas, carrots and dessert!

I was well behaved and stuck with the Turkey and sweet potato roasted and beans - I did have a small fruit salad, and trifle, (so as not the upset my mothers - she went to a lot of effort) but I left most of it anyhow. Although my 1 big indulgence was the dark choc covered cherries Mum had made! I love cherries!

J got me a beautiful gold anklet - just what I wanted and a new sony MP3 player - also what I wanted, but totally unessesary. He is just so good to me! I got so much from my parents I won't even go into it!

Then we went home at 5.30pm and had a sleep then went to a party my friend always has at 9.30pm - and you wouldn't believe it... the X was there with his new girl friend - of sorts, don't want to be nasty but I think he could do a bit better! I had seen him about 1 month ago and he had told me he wasn't going to go and would not be in town over Christmas - so that sucked when I arrived and he was there! I couldn't even be bothered talking to him!

Well I'm at work today - but I don't want to be so have told my boss I'm not comming back till the 8th - I just want to spend time with J. We are going away - work thing so i will have to pick up the company car at some stage next week, but that's it!

Well I really hope that everyone who reads this had a great Christmas and have a happy New Year - thanks for reading still even though I fell off the face of Blog land for some time!

All the best for 2007! It's going to rock!!!!

2006-12-21T10:15:00.000+13:00

Seasons Greetings ...

Opps I lied - I have not blogged in so long. But things are still going well for me. J and I are doing really well, I'm still at teh gym everyday (rest on Sundays) getting stronger and my training partner and I are training hard. I have lost more body fat so am happy with slow but steady progress. This month has been full of Christmas Functions but I have stuck to plan pretty much. I am looking forward to a few days off and hopefully so summer weather here in NZ.

2006-10-18T11:28:00.000+13:00

Nelson - Work - break - fun

I went to Nelson (on the Sth Island of NZ) last week to run a conference for 3 x 1/2 days it was really nice.

This is a pic of J at a Chruch land mark in centre of Nelson.

My manager even paid (out of his own money) for J to fly down to be with me. Soooooo cool. It was a lifesaver having him there, he brought me in 'clean' meals of chicken salads, and shakes when I didn't get a chance to get my own. He joined us up at a local gym for the week and we worked out every morning - NO EXCUSES!

I ate pretty well, with most meals in the evening at Resturants. We had breakfast at the Hotel every day - had them make us oatmeal and poached eggs (I only ate the whites) the picture is of me (looking like a guilty piggy) and my plates of food that I really only picked at to get my meal - oats, left over egg yolks, dried fruit, fresh melon, cold meat ... and coffee coffeee coffeeeeee!

When we returned I had only put on .5 kg and on the Saturday (exactly a week from when we left) I was back at 69.8kg I was really happy to get my workouts in and not gain weight.

Wow I love this guy!

Any how - before I go into a meeting I tried to post some pics of a boat cruise we took - such a beautiful area on such a beautiful day! But Blogger won't do it at the moment! Must work!

Oh and work outs? Going good getting them done, but need a motivational kick in the pants some mornings - It'll come right!

I'll not wait as long to post again this time x

2006-09-29T15:16:00.000+12:00

I'm still alive

Yeah I've been slack with my blog - life is going well, I'm super busy at work and life but loving it, I'm training super hard and hope to have progress report soon. Here is pic of me at work today. Summer is comming Yeah cool, and I've made friends with a girl who goes to the gym in the mornings like I do - she is 5 weeks from the Nationals and training hard but after all that we may train together so happy to have a girl friend at the gym. And she is a nutritionist by trade - so I can pick her brains!
Don't get me wrong - J is still the bestest training partner ever but he has his own. Yeah cool. Diet was very easy going last week but now I'm back better and more focused than ever!

J and I are doing so so so well.

Must dash, but I'm still checking in on everyones blogs

Well re-focus my blogging in about 2 weeks when work load not so full on.

2006-09-18T12:20:00.000+12:00

2006-09-12T14:05:00.000+12:00

STARTING BODY FAT = 16.1%
BODY FAT IS NOW.......

14.3% I find it hard to believe - I feel like I look alot fatter than that! But that's what the measurements came out as!

Body weight is exactly the same at 70kg as when I started.
Giving me an overall:

loss of 1.26kg Fat
Gain of 1.26kg Lean Mass

- Yeah I was happy with that and the measurement loss of pretty consistant with 1-2mm per site.

Jason did just as well as I did too! And he gained 2kgs!

Diet was great thru the week, Saturday was good, Sunday average and Monday I had a high carb day (small treat for myself) + dried fruit, naughty naughty, but I have to remind myslef that I'm not competition dieting now, and can afford myself higher calorie / carb days - no-one can diet for a year! Which all said and done set me up for a good hard leg session this morning. And I am back eating clean / high protein / Low fat & Carb.

Good news for me is that J's training partner is out of town for the week, which means he and i train together - good for me, not so good for J as I can't really spot him as well as his partner.

J and I are going to the Competiton we will enter this time next year on Saturday - gotta check it out, see what the competition is like, how they run it, the quality and just generally see what we are up against and get inspired!

On Sunday (our rest day) we are going to try something really different which should be totally good for us: BIKRAM Yoga!

BikramYoga class is a series of 26 traditional Hatha Yoga postures including 2 breathing exercises. Bikram specifically designed this unique 90-minute series to comprehensively stimulate every system of the body. All classes are performed in a heated room, warming the muscles and connective tissues, preventing injury and allowing for a deeper workout. The heat also cleanses the body by flushing toxins thereby promoting optimum health.

So it's going to be hot and sweaty baby! Yeah - should help in many ways - and here's hoping it'll relax us too. Can't wait.

2006-09-05T11:22:00.000+12:00

It's all cool!

SO yesterday I had a blahhh day really, I upped my carbs - lot's of oatmeal and rice cakes plus protein. I also had fruit yummy and nuts (to me this is as close to free day as I get) and big protions. What made it a Blahh day? Well although I knew I would do this and my body needed it, and my mind needed it, I did over eat and my body hated the overload, plus the carbs although good really made me feel weighed down. However today during my Leg workout(Quads/Calf/Ab) I had energy to burn and strength to no end! But did not venture on to the scale - tomorrow though ... ahhh tomorrow...

WORK OUT - Legs (Quads/Calf/AB)

SQUATS: Begining weight 40 kgs with 25kg bar (I think), End Weight 70kg with bar. I do go heavier - but only with J spotting me!

Wide 4sets: Reps = 16/14/12/10 with weight increasing
Close together (as above)
Normal stance - Shoulder width (as above)

Walking Lunges: 4 sets = 26/24/12/12 increasing weights decreasing reps

QUAD EXTENTION: (seated, 1 leg at a time): 5 set = 12/10/8/8/6 increase wt

Calf Raises: 4 set of 12 reps per time

AB's decline bench(with wt plates on chest): 2 sets x 24 with Okg, 2 sets x 12 with 5kg, 1 set x 10 with 10kg (first time ever!)

Aimming to work on Ab's at lease 4 times a week, even if it's only between sets....

Diet is back on track and all going well, High protein low carbs ... Shakes, Egg whites, Chicken, Green Veg, Salad.... that's the plan yummo! But goodness I tell ya my body feels at it's best with this stuff and not alot else! The occassional protien bar is always welcome though and of course a sugar free coke or energy drink.

Well all is going well in all other aspects of life, sorry no funny gossip no stories about the Ex, I did however find the coolest dress for my work Chirstmas party and the Social Function I am running in January (yeah I know- planning my outfit this early..) but it's sooo cool, they are ordering in more to the store this week so I can hopefully pick it up! It's a Hulter (sp?) neck tie, deep neck line, gathered in at the waist, knee length. The fabric is Black background, with cherries and green steams ... but the cherries are actually little skulls ... funny cause the dress is so pretty! I love it!

2006-09-04T09:11:00.000+12:00

Well Sugar! I have to wait....

Another week to have BF test, our trainer was sick this weekend, so I have another week to work hard on progress and do my very very bestest. It would have been good to know if I was going on the right track with training etc or if changes needed to be made. oh well on-wards and up-wards.

2006-09-01T09:32:00.000+12:00

Spring has Sprung and my 'skinny Jeans' look good!

It's the first day of September - officially it is Spring in NZ - and it is a beautiful day, I'm even wearing a new dress to work - although I'm doing the dress over trousers look cause it's still crisp. 2nd day in a row and I'm under 70kg still (69.5) and I showed J - he's proud of me, as he knows it's a mental thing for me to drop scale weight.

Plus this morning, while trying to decided which trousers to wear under my dress, I tried on my SKINNY JEANS and they looked good enough to wear with just a strapless top! happy happy happy days!

SO yesterday was a small test of will power and I did not faulter (bar a few small t/spoons of protein powder). Love it love it. I'm now enjoying a diet coke at my desk at work (he he - yummy, small caffinated pleasures!) after eating meal 2 - Chick and green veg.

Had a good Hamstring work out also - although I am slightly tired, I'm feeling pumped for the day.

x

2006-08-31T13:56:00.000+12:00

This is what keeping a blog is all about -

I've been going through a hard few days, good and hard don't get me wrong - but hard, I am really feeling my work-outs each and every time and what ever body part I work feels sore the next day/s so it is good.

I am also focusing on my diet, I have not been consistant (well behaved - but not consitant) untill now and the mind games take a bit to get used to again.

I have weigh in and pinch test this saturday (today is Thrusday) and I've finally broken my curse as I call it (70kg mark) today at the gym I weighed in at 69.6kg, really happy, but I tell you it has been a struggle what will it be like as I continue on?

It has only been 4 full days hard dieting (High protein & low carbs) I am trying new things out to see if my body works well - so far the weight loss is good in that respect, and I am once again taking Lipo-6 which I had good results with while not really focusing on my diet so with that combination I think the real results will come.

Today as days go by, I am positive but tired and very sore from my Shoulder work out this morning, I really pushed it:

Shoulder Press 4 sets
D.bell raises (both side & front) 4 sets
90 deg cable pulls 4 sets
Cable raises 4 sets each side
D.bell press with increased weights back down to drop sets
Shurgs with 1 drop set to end.

Cardio was 10 mins fast and hard on stepper & 10mins Treddy running with 5 mins cool down on bike.

I am really feeling it now - and have been hungry today, although it is to be expected with low carb and low cals. 2 more days then Sunday rest day and higher carb day on Sunday & Monday then low carb through Tuesday to Friday, I will see how my body continues to react to this. The high Carb days will trick my body up (so's not to get used to starvation mode) and provide the extra nutrients needed to recover and prepare for the next gurling week ahead - I will work hard!

I actually drove to the beach and had a nap in the car for about 20mins at lunch time, needed it and now I'm back in to it. And have just eaten meal 4 Chicken and Green steamed veg.

Ok to to get back into work! Happy happy happy - I love this, I will not be the same as everyone else!

2006-08-30T09:55:00.000+12:00

Been a while.

I've been pretty busy with work and trips around the country keeping away from Mr Computer and lots of actual work to be done once back. I am happy to report that I am in my last week before my monthly check in (pinch the fat and jump on the scale) . I've had up's and downs but I'm ending this month on a high note - every work out I have been feeling the next day/s and every meal is high protein and low carb, all my timing is good (every 2 hours - small meal). I did gain 2kgs early on (buffet style eating in the hotels - blahhh) but have now lost it and although back to square one with regards to scale weight I am hoping that I have a good BF reading. J and I are still going extremly well, just love him to bits, he is so supportive and always there to spot me and even sets up weights for me between his sets while I'm doing cardio warm up.

Time to love ya and leave ya for now.

2006-08-17T09:59:00.000+12:00

Flowers, Food and Eyes

Following a successfull Expo I was given this beautiful bunch of flowers from the hotel we hold the Expo at - I just had to share. How lucky am I? I should have been giving them gifts for all the hard work their staff puts in time and time again.

Food

Yet another clean eating day for me, I am happy to report!

M1 Post work out shake
M2 Oats and Shake
M3 Chicken and brown rice
M4 Tinned Salmon and Green Veg
M5 Shake & 1/4 cup oats(not planned)
M6 Chicken
M7 Protein Powder mixed with 4 egg whites to make pancake

Ran off the gym for lunch time cardio Bike, Stepper and incline treadmill.

I was feeling very hungry in the afternoon, I was very tired, it was hard to focus on work, so I added 1/4 cup of oats to meal 5 and this perked me right up with out killing the plan, but due to cardio and the lack of carbs featured in the last 2 meals I think this was a good choice - not need to totally freak my bosy out at this early stage, I am still learning and listening to my body, this coul dhave easily resulted in one of those 'Blow Out' moments where everything in the kitchen is consumed!

I'm always on the look out for interesting combinations that are easy to make and do not stray from my diet. I have taken to making an omlette (4-5 egg whites), and filling with mixed seafood (frozen mix) heated up in my George Foreman Gill, then at the last stage I add a very low salt, low carb, low sugar sweet chilli sauce. + 1-2 cups of green beans. Yummy and all up takes about 10-12mins including preparation time.

Some time ago I mentioned that I tinted my eye lashes at home using a kit, here are some pictures of how I go about this - it give a natural look and you don't have to worry about panda eyes while workig out and to dress up my lashes when I'm going out or to work I just use an eye lash curler. While I tint I cover my face in a deep heavy layer of moisturiser so that any splaters (and it does happen - see pictures) it will easily wipe off and you are treating your skin at the same time - multitasking!

Tools needed

Messy application - hard when you need to blink - but I put it on as if I was doing mascara... the result - well it's all good - but no picture.

2006-08-16T08:37:00.000+12:00

First things first...

Diet yesterday

M1 - Post work out shake
M2 - Oats & Shake
M3 - Chick & 1/2 cup brown rice
M4 - Tuna & Aspargus
M5 - Shake & Broccoli
M6 - Prawns (1 cup) & Green beans

Proud to say this was a very clean day! Was planning on have an evening shake but managed to get to bed early so it was not needed. Protein with every meal and as much green vegs as I want! Carbs / Grains feature early in the day.

Work out plan:

We are now doing a 6 day split 1 body part a day + Ab's, Calfs in where appropiate. This is good and things are working.

1=Back
2=Quads + Calf&Ab's
3=Chest
4=Shoulders
5=Hams + Calf&Ab's
6=Bi's & Tri's

Abs are added between sets etc when and where I can in addidtion to lower body days.

Ouch!
I have had a head cold, caused from being run down and working long hours while still getting up early to go to the gym on the other side of town. But these are the choices I make and although I sometimes need an attitude adjustment, for the most part I am dealing with it. Needless to say cardio is not so full on as breathing through a head cold is not easy. Also woke up with cramp in my right calf this morning - I'm not big on salt in my diet at the best of times so I will have some added to my food today and will be sure to strech better.

Life is good, am so in love - enough said!

2006-08-10T10:14:00.000+12:00

It's a start - be it a busy one!

This is a very busy week for me at work - managed to get into my office for an hour to do some urgent e-mails answering etc, then I'm back into the city to work for the rest of the day. Been staying at a Hotel in the City, which don't get me wrong, is nice and all but I do it far to oftern and it messes with my routine - more about that next post when I'm not so rushed! Needless to say J did come over each night to keep me company.

We meet with our trainer and I now have my starting point measurement of body Fat ... ready for it... drum roll....

STARTING POINT:
BODY FAT 16.1%
WEIGHT 70.00 Kg

J and I have customised a new training plan - more about that later too, but I'm feeling it. The Diet kicks in next week for 1 full clean week, then due to work commitments I need to addapt for convinence foods etc Bars, Shakes, raw veg, pre-cooked chick etc... then back in to a full summer strip down / count down (contest style eating)!

We will BF test and weigh every 4 weeks from now on.

Hope all my blends are doing well, I can't wait to catch up on you all.

Hugs

Evie

2006-08-03T09:16:00.000+12:00

Ok... this is going to be a rush job up date today.

SO J and I went to see the Trainer and we are so impressed with him, we are going back to train at his gym on Saturday and then do our measurements and go over our program and diet etc.

He thinks I should do figure, because of my height and build so far but will need to lose 10 kilos (before final 12 weeks & then more to strip fat) - you may be thinking that's alot! and yes I was thinking that too, but we have revisited our goals in regards to the competition (although it seems like I'm forever putting it further back) we will enter and it looks like about this time next year so slow and stead pace will win the race. Also there is a measurement (millimeters total of fat on my body) not percentage we will aim for before I should step on stage.

J needs to grow and I need to slowly loose (steady pace, not horible over the next year) and that will make the final lead up all that much easier for my mind and body!

We are both excited! This guy really knows his stuff and further more he has confirmed that I am on the right track with my approach. I have been so strong this week in the lead up to our first offical day (I see no reason in having a relaxed week just because I'm going to have a new program) in fact I am more focused than ever before.

The trainer said "Just remember, you will be on stage in your bikini infront of strangers and friends, every millimeter of fat will be noticable!"

So now when offered any naughty off plan food by J, I just say that I am far to vain to have that! And he and I know what I mean!

2006-07-28T09:25:00.000+12:00

Plans for the next few days - to shape the next few months...

J and I are going to watch friends of ours compete in a regional Body Building show about 3 hours drive away on Saturday - can't wait - will be very motivating for us both. The rest of the weekend will be filled with good eating and training at the gym on Sunday followed by rest and relaxation, the weather report is not so hot (rain) so I think it'll be an afternoon by the fire watching movies - yeah.

On Monday I am taking a half day from work and we are going to visit with a Personal Trainer who J's father trained with back in the '80's this guy has done 99 competitions and trained over 50 competitors National and International (Men & Women), he still trains hard and will probably do his 100th comp next year. I'm excited as heck to meet with him!

I am of course worried that he will evaluate me and simply say 'Girl you need to get your butt on any cardio machine and stay there for at least 2 hours a day to stand a chance!'. I'm also worried (between you and me) that the damage I did to my body while being overweight will not make me a good candidate to compete: My tummy has some extra skin - not heaps but enough of a wrinkle, and the inside of my legs still need to shrink - what if there is extra skin there? (they aren't so pretty when viewed in certain light now) I know I know, don't panic, you're not there yet, you don't know, maybe my skin will be ok, either way there is nothing to loose but fat!

J had his body fat tested and is between 14-18% the trainer is really hard when he tests (gets every last bit), he says between 14-18 because J's arms are on 3% it's carried around his back and middle although you can see his abs and muscels very clearly - he will just need to get bigger over the next few months then will just have to cut with Cardio and Diet. Me on the other hand will need to loose at least 5 - 8 kg of fat over the next 5 months while still trying to grown and maintain even before I think about cutting. I guess I will do my BF % next week - may not tell J the results if they are too bad... hmmmm

So I'm happy with my diet efforts this week, hit every meal kept Calories between 1,300 - 1,500. The planning and pre-cooking I did early in the week has been a big big help. My weight is dropping at a steady rate - 100-300gms a day will be a full clean kilo by next Monday.

Today was Back day - 20mins cardio on Bike (average effort), hit Back quite heavy but will double up and go back this evening with J again - we usually do a double on a Friday of what ever we are doing that training day, seems to be a good thing. In general I am training with a new found intensity which I am proud of.

Ok well that's me for a the week I think, it's Friday here in NEW ZEALAND, thanks for your kind word about my hair and pendant - I'm lucky to have such neat BLENDS who say the nicest things - As the saying goes "Surround yourself with positive people, and positive things will happen" thanks for your positivity.

HUGS - have a great Friday and Weekend...

2006-07-27T12:05:00.000+12:00

NEW FUR, NEW FUR, I have new fur ...

Ok so here are some pic's taken last night of my 'New Fur' - it's different but I'm getting used to it ... I think. Gotta love a change!

This is the Green Stone (Pounamu - pronounced Poe-na-moo) pendant J gave me for my Birthday, I love it, the shape is simple and strong, the green stone is calming and these are things J is to me: Strong and calming. I love him so much.

ABOUT: Pounamu

NZ Nephrite (jade) is a stone for which NZ has become famous.Also known as Pounamu or greenstone.
pounamu comes from New Zealand...
People go 'bush' to look for greenstone... The Pounamu blocks are brought out by helicopter in pieces of up to 500kg or even heavier. The pieces have been broken down in the bush by portable saws...
The pieces are cut down to blocks of 100-200 kg and then sold to factories, carvers etc.
The pieces are then slabbed down to usable sheets. Templates are used for the design, shape of the carving. They are then cut out, carved into the shape and polished. It is very impressive to see the carver at work!

2006-07-25T12:20:00.000+12:00

TOPICS FOR TODAY:

My Birthday
My wonderful boyfriend
Love
Motivation
Todays leg work out and future work outs
Diet & Recipe

On July 21 it was my birthday, I took the day off work and so did my boyfriend J - so sweet. My day went pretty much as I planned and my hair looks really cool - Pictures in a few days. And J loved it! The Reflexology massage went really well, the name of the place is BLISS and truly I was in bliss sharing some well earnt relaxation with my man. So I in terms of gifts I got my hair ($300 + thanks mum), new running shoes (thanks dad), shopping Mall vouchers & dinner out (thanks mum and dad), Reflexology massage, all expense paid day out full of treats, greenstone pendent (Love ya J).

This brings me nicley on to J - he is still fantastic, took the day off work and hung around entertaining himself, going for walks , bringing me breakfast and shopping for 4 hours while I had my hair done, and generally treated me so well. I really am loved. In my brithday card he wrote "All my love, may not seem like much but it's the thing I have most of for you. To my perfect match, enjoy your day and may it only get better. All my love xoxoxoxo"

Love: (2 parts here)

1. Well things are falling into place in my mind about the phenomonon (sp?) LOVE. I've worked out that different people need to be loved in different ways and if they are not - no matter what, they are not going to feel loved. Some people want public displays of affection, some words, some gifts, some actions speak louder than words... me - a combination! As for Carl and I, he worked on actions alone. J and I click and appreciate a variety of expressions of love and are very vocal and public (people in love like that used to make me gag, truth is I wanted to be just like them!)
2. I don't think I've been in love, I used to settle and put up with the things I didn't like, but with J I love him unconditionally, to me we are a perfect match.

Motivation: I've got it back, am inspired to compete, am inspired by J's dedication, am inspired by my Blogger buddies. I want to look great, feel great, I want to surprise even myself, I love the feeling of pride when you eat a full day clean, I love the exhilaration of working out so hard you think you are going to cry, or throw up or both! I know I can do it, I know the feeling will be so overwhelming like nothing I've achieved before - I will be the best I can, and I will continue to get better.

She's got legs - oh yeah baby I have legs alright I killed 'em today. I decided that working legs 3 times a week was not giving enough recovery time - but I need to work my legs - they are a trouble spot - so compromise: with the middle leg day being cardio based (treadmill, bike, stepper, eliptical x 40 - 60mins broken into 10 - 20 mins sessions - as we know I need the cardio!) with walking lunges, shuttle run drills (ie side step, skipping, sprints), squats & box steps, jumping. So I'm still killing them but not lifting heavy. It was such a good work out today - I know I will see the difference in my body I can feel it. I will be going for a wlak after work also - I plan on changing into my work out clothes before leaving work so that when I get home, I can un-pack the car and go right out for my walk - it's still winter so gets dark quick and is cold.

Diet: Last night I was motivated (by Amy) to get back into the kitchen and bulk cook my daliy meals for the week.

Chicken breast on George Foreman grill (some plain, some with spices)
Sweet potato cubed and boiled
Eggs Boiled (will peel as and when needed)
Rice wafers divided into servings (if I have the whole bag I will eat them in one day)

In addition I have salad greens I buy every 2-3 days and vegies ready to be steamed, FF Cottage cheese, cans of tuna, protien powder (so good now I have a blender at work), & Oats for breakfast everyday, plus sugar free energy drinks 1/2 pre work out and a few small cans ready if I really need a pick me up during the day.

Everything is divided, weighed and bagged up.

TOdAYS EATING

Oats & Shake 220 - 250 cal
Shake & 4 thin multi grain wafers 190 - 200 cal
Chicken 150gms, salad greens, 1/3 red pepper, 1 x thin sliced mushroom, 1 x egg white, oil free vinagarett 250- 300 cal
Shake & 2 egg whites & Celery sticks 160cal
... shake or cottage cheese 150 max
Chicken or fish with salad 250 - 300

Cottage Cheese Loaf:

Ingredients
250gm Lite cottage cheese
1 egg lightly beaten
¼ cup tomato paste (I used Leggo's Pizza Paste)
½ onion, chopped
1 Tbsp Dijon mustard
½ cup of rolled oats
½ cup cooked brown rice
Pepper to taste
450g lean chicken (breast meat, chopped into bite sized pieces)
Grated parmesan cheese (about ¼ cup)
Herbs of your choice (I used parsley, sweet basil & oregano)

Directions
In a bowl, combine the first eight ingredients. Add chicken and herbs and mix well. Press into an ungreased 20cm square baking pan. Bake at 180 for 30 minutes. Lightly sprinkle with parmesan cheese; bake another 10-15 minutes before cutting.

Makes 6 serves
Nutritional analysis (per serve):Calories: 220 (approx.)Protein: 24gCarbohydrates: 14gFat: 6.5g

2006-07-19T18:58:00.000+12:00

Slack Blogger - sorry sorry sorry

Special 'HI' to Melissa!

In all honesty the only thing I've been slack about is my blog, I am so busy these days, over commited and spread to thin at times ahhhh work is pretty hard core at the moment, I've got the biggest event comming up and each and every time I think it's under control something changes! Gym gym gym - working hard J is pushing me at the end of my sessions which is great!

Back to the work thing.. I'm working late tonight till about 8.30 - 9pm just so I have everything under control so I can have 1 day off! MY BIRTHDAY!

BIRTHDAY PLAN - LONG DAY

5.30am Gym
7.30am Breakfast with J
9am Hair appointment (4hours)
1.30pm Quick lunch with J
2.20pm Reflexology massage (I need it!)
3.30pm shopping
6.30pm back to J's to get changed
7.30pm Dinner with Mum, Dad & J
11.00pm Relax with glass of Red wine - snuggle with J

Mmmmmm my perfect day! Nearly, could do with a sleep in but other than that perfect!

I'm going to try and document my day in photos hopefully - so maybe even on of J and I together - that's what I want!

Ok that's all from me now - back to work, I have been keeping up with all your blogs.

Hugs

2006-07-12T09:27:00.000+12:00

HOT LEG WORK OUT

MY HOT HOT HOT (sore, painful and fantastic) Leg work out today was inspired by the great / Hardcore clip, of 3 very strong girls working out so hard that the tears start to role. After I saw this clip I knew that was not putting in the effort at the gym I need to be to even begin achieving my dreams, goals, and potential http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/051204.wmv

I can't take credit for finding this clip, it was first posted by the wonderful and stunning
LORI - thanks for the inspiration. If you haven't seen Lori's blog, go check it out. Yet another Body For Lifer who is striving for her Best Body ever.

It's been a while since I posted and things are going really well for me, some days are higher carbs than they should be so I still need to control myself better, but all in all I am doing well. My scale weight moves by 1-2 kgs every few days (up or down) depending on my eating paterns so it's to be expected, but I'm really feeling as if I can focus and work through my diet without slipping up for the rest of this week.

Working out has been consistant and strong but by no means have I been pushing myself to my potential. J has been great and sometimes motivates me after his session has finished, he gives me that extra push or teaches me something new. I love him so much.

Todays Work Out:

20mins hard treddy running (intervals)

Smith Machine Squats x 5 sets increasing weights with every set
Swiss ball squats (100 reps non stop) burn
Ab's 2 sets 25 on swiss ball
Walking lunges with heavey weights 26 steps x 4 sets
Ham String Deadlift moderate weight x 4 sets between lunge sets
Ab's 2 sets 25 on swiss ball
*Legs super combination (4 sets)

*Legs Super Combination

Squats (body weight) Reps per set:24/24/24/24
Squats (6kg medicine ball) pick up, put down, pick up, put down... Reps per set: 24/24/24/50 (ouch)
Ab's on Swiss Ball Reps per set: 24/24/24/24
Ham string single leg curls Reps per set: 16/16/12/10

Each exercise done (1 thru 4) for 4 sets each LOVE IT - I will be doing this for my next 3 -4 leg days to see if this type of training can't help strip some fat and I will increase my cardio too.

Personal Stuff- I am still very much in love with J, he is so great. He is teaching me how to shoot we practice target shooting and I am improving each time I love it. My birthday is coming up and I am detirmined to look great. I am taking the day off work will be hitting the gym as usual, then getting my hair done in the morning (4 hrs), then the plan is for J and I to hit a day spa (he's taken time off work for me), then dinner I think. So all in all it should be a good day. There will not be a 'Party' through for the first time in about 4 years because of me moving out of Carls house, plus I wouldn't know who to invite as things are a bit strange with friends after I left Carl and I haven't exactly made it public knowlege that I am seriously seeing someone else quite yet (so as to have a bit of class and not hurt Carl too badly) although I really want to get it all out there in the open so J can meet my friends (those who are truly mine).

That's me for now - motivated to be the best I can be and achieve my potential.

2006-07-04T17:05:00.000+12:00

Happy 4th of July

from the Southern Hemisphere!!!

Hugs

2006-06-30T14:22:00.000+12:00

Me me me... up date on how my day is going....

Boring day at work, enough said there!

Eating - great: Have changed things around and been adaptable.

M1 Oats & Protein (logged already) 250
M2 Smoked fish and egg whites x 5 (girl at work brought it in - so I adapted and will have shake later) 200
M3 1/2 Chick Breast (saving 1/2 for M4), big green salad, and 1/2 cup of cc with sprinkle of dried fruit to taste only (needed something desert like but clean!) 300
M4 1/2 Chicken Breast, & 1/2 cc 225
M5 shake 100
M6 Chicken and salad with J yummy (dinner and J, ha ha) 300

Approx total: 1375

2006-06-30T08:28:00.000+12:00

Very much on my way!

Yesterday was fantastic - I stuck to plan and kept myself busy at times when I might normally stray from plan. Diet was 100% clean!

I achieved quite alot while I was staying busy in the hours after work, and between dinner and bed time:

Laundry washed
Sorted and packed clothes to leave at J's house (his idea) so I can stay anytime and not worry about having gear to wear. I have been putting it off for a while now, but feel ready for this baby step in the relationship.
Looked through old clothes sent over from Carls place, wasted maybe an hour trying on things (most that don't fit - crazy big) will have to wash and try and sell the expensive items or throw out.
Had long shower and washed hair.
Cooked dinner & ate dinner (chicken salad) .
Cooked lunch Chicken breast, sweet potato. (will have with steamed veg)
Dried hair (took about 25 mins)
Packed car with clothes for the weekend.
Straightened up bedroom.
ahhh sleep....

So far today (same meal plan as yesterday) I have just had my Oats & Protein yummy! Just finishing off my first coffee.

Had a great work out today LEGS (spec. Quads)

Warm up and Cool down: Walked to and from gym fast pace in freezing cold with J - It's winter here in New Zealand you know!

Smith Machine Squats x 6 sets
Seated single Quad Extentions x 6 sets
Weighted (10kg apx 22pound d.bells) step ups x 2 sets of 50
Adbuctor x 5 sets
Leg press (HEAVY) x 4 sets + ss calf raises x 4
Wide stance Smith Machine Squats x 3 sets

I started with moderate weights and at 16 reps and worked up weights and down reps (16,14,12,10...) Love it! Really felt the leg extentions, had to push out a few reps, big mind games, but I won. Thought I'd be really sore as this morning I was still feeling tight from last leg day, but truth be told I think today has done me the world of good. So I am 1 workout closer to the legs I want.

Plan for this weekend:

GO to J's after work of meet at gym, only for extra cardio for me, that's if he hasn't been already. Think we'll just spend a quite night in by the fire - fun!

On Saturday we will be busy, Gym at about 8.30 - 10am, pick up my bosses dog for a walk (just doing a favour), go to parents house (meet the parents for J), have breakfast, make lunch, walk dog, take dog back to boss, go for 1hour drive to go for a bush walk to some beautiful water falls (have late picnic lunch), meet J's cousin and hang out with her for a while then home for dinner and a relaxing evening I hope.

Sunday... not so sure about that.

2006-06-28T11:50:00.000+12:00

Today - the plan - so far so good

Work out:
Walked to gym and walked back 20 mins each way fast paced

Back day:

Bar Bell Bent over Rows
Lat Pull downs
Close Grip pull downs
Seated Cable rows
Bench D.Bell 1 arms rows (very heavy)
Rear Delt Flys
Pulls ups

Diet Plan:

As soon as I got home from the gym last night I got into the kitchen and prepared lunch for tomorrow - can't fail myself today! As I was cooking I ate a snack type dinner made up of Chicken, Banana, dried fruit, pineapple, cheese, sweet potato ... not so crash hot, but I believe I got it out of my system and I ready and fired up! This morning I was feeling bloated and unhealthy due to the snacking - serves me right.

8am 1/2 c rolled oats and protein shake 250
10am Protein shake 100
12.30pm 200g Sweet potatoe, 200g chicken and salad or steamed veg 350
3.00pm Tuna 185
4.30pm Protein shake 100
7pm 200g chicken and salad or steamed veges 300
1285 cals

Begining of my contest planning

It's one thing to say I want to compete but how? I'm doing alot of research and so far thses are some of the things I will need to implement into a plan:

1. Find someone who can critique my physique. A Personal Trainer with a specialty in bodybuilding or an experienced competitor is an important element in contest plan. A PT can also help decide on whether my structure is suited to figure or physique competition.

I have been looking into 3 different trainers I could use, and have respect for. I will pick a trainer by November 2006

2. Choose competition date. Traditionally, 12 weeks is required for contest preparation, but I'm a novice and still have weight to loose now in the next few months and then I expect I should start my contest prep early at 16 weeks. The reason being is that I'm not sure how my body is going to respond to the new diet and training plan.

My aim is to compete in March - The dates are not confirmed untill the end of the year at the earliest.

3. Check weight, bodyfat levels and take photos. Taking photos monthly up until December then weekly will be a good idea so I can see what changes are happening to my body. Everybody hates weighing themselves but I will need to keep in check my loses and gains as I will need to be under 60kgs (pref 57kg or less) to have a real chance and to keep within the competition guidelines in place in New Zealand for my height etc.

4. I will record my progress. Training diary is essential and I've been very good keeping mine updated every training day. I should record my daily eating (need to focus on that) and training routine so I know what is working. Recording what I ate or trained could help identify what has helped that day, made an impact on my mood or motivation and energy levels in general.

5. Working out my diet. Again, employing the services of a PT or dietitian will go a long way towards helping sort out my nutrition needs. But for now I have to go with my reaserch and using plans from websites and books I've read. If I don't eat enough calories I could be eating into muscles and my hard work could be wasted. Eat too much (easy for me to do) and I won't loose the fat I need to.

Right now I am going to implement a 'clean eating' strategy through the week days which is close to competition dieting (as above). But in the weekends relax on timing, portions, and amount of meals - while still being focused ongetting in protien needs etc and not eating un-clean food! Still strict but not so that it effects my day.

6. Contest eating. Contest dieting is about eating for energy and recovery rather than for taste. - not exciting.

At the beginning of contest plan it's probably a good idea for me to get rid of any naughty foods such as cookies, delicious condiments or any tasty treats even protien bars will not be regular in my plan any longer - if I don't see them, I won't eat them right?! ALL NATURAL

7. Meal Planning. eating smaller meals more frequently during the day. Eating more often will burn more calories due to the thermogenic effect of digestion. This means being prepared an organized.

I normally eat between 5 & 6 meals a day - I will be strict and follow through with all meals during the week, this I am hoping will stop my binges at times like mid afternoon and early evening (bad times for me and my will power).

8. Contest Training. There's a fine balance between weight training and cardio. I need to do enough cardio to promote fat loss while weight training will help shape and give muscle definition.

Currently I need to loose 10kgs - my goal is 2 kgs loss a month. bewteen now and NOVEMBER although I will be happy with 1.5 kg per month, it's not a lot but it will be hard going and still building muscle.

9. Supplements. There are 3 main types of supplements to consider: broken down into Protein, Fat Loss and Muscle Maintenance. there's a couple of anti catabolic supplements I will take to prevent muscle loss. HMB and L-Glutamine are good starters as they will help keep muscle mass as diet becomes tighter.

I will continue to take Thermogenic fat loss products, protein powder (form of shakes), and a multi vitamin and then introduce Muscle Maintenance products at I need to, and anything else on the recomendation of a trainer from November onwards.

This is: Larissa Reis - A little motivation goes a long way!

2006-06-28T09:20:00.000+12:00

INSPIRATION TO COMPETE AND DO WELL!

Picture from the competition J and I went to on the weekend. The girl in the middle (Lisa B) is a great inspiration to me. SO... work work work I must!

Went to the gym last night to play catch up on Arms and did an extra 20mins cardio (stepper), I wasn't as focused as I needed to be and only did basic arms work out to get home in time for dinner. I will however be going again this evening after work.

Todays work out: Hamstrings

Seated leg curl 5 sets
Stiff Leg dead lift 3 sets
Leg press 4 sets
Walking Lunges 4 sets of 24 reps
Single lying leg curl 4 sets

Also ran to the gym and walked home with J.

This evening I will be doing Butt / Leg/ Calf / Ab 'follow up' work out consisting of

Leg Press
Lunges
Adductor
Abductor
Calf raises
Varied Ab work 4-5 sets of 25 reps

Plus 20mins hard cardio Treadmill. Note the weights will be moderate and reps high, the excersises listed here would be included in Hamstring work out if I had not run out of time today.

Today's Diet:

After work out snack: Dried Fruit & Shaved Chicken (needed it!) approx 300cal
Oats & Shake (250)
low cal bar and low cal high protein shake (280)
Egg Whites x 4 & 100gms shaved Chicken (185)
Tuna (185)
Shake (100)
Post work out Chicken breast (250) or if late back just FF CC (200)

More meals and higher total calories than my usual (1550). Carbs consumed early in day (Oats, Fruit, bar) This will ensure I am fuled up for extra cardio this evening and will have burned over 1000 with extra work out.

Thursday & Friday Diet plan:

8am 1/3 c rolled oats and protein powder with water 250
10am Protein shake 100
12.30pm 200g Sweet potatoe, 200g chicken and salad with oil and balsamic vinegar 350
3.00pm Tuna 185
4.30pm Protein shake 100
7pm 200g chicken and salad or steamed veges 300

1285 cals

All boring work out and diet stuff I know, I know and not exact science like it really should be!

Personal life: I'm in a strange mood, I expect it's because I'm giving myself a hard time mentally about my diet, I keep saying it' s ok to eat more cause I'm working out harder but I feel like I should be able to focus, if I can't control myself now how will it be when push comes to shove and I am on a strict diet and workout plan, if I had the money (I don't) I would go to a trainer now and have it all set out, step by step from now until competition time. As it is it's all guess work from things I've studied and that's cool, but I just let myself drift from the plan.

I am one of those people that if I cheat it's not just 1 piece of candy - it's the whole bag and then the day is a write off from there. I know I want to compete, I know I have set a realistic time frame from now so what it is up with the slip ups?

I'm letting this get me down and in-turn I'm putting self doubt into other aspects of my life like with J ... I really wonder if he does love me, if I love him, if things will be long term, if we make a good couple, if we will compete together. It's all self doubt I can only choose to believe what he says or not. It's time to just bite the bullet and take things on face value and get on with life - enjoy the moment.

So realistically I should set in place a long term plan for this year and into next... watch this space... plan and time frame to come!

Edit: This morning I was out of sorts with J - just quiet and tired for reasons listed above, worried and being hard on myself and feeling streached with everything I'm trying to fit in and the hoops I have to jump through in terms of planning just to get to the gym oftern. So anyhow he sent me this text out of the blue... "How u doing sexy? Lovely day out here. Love ya xox is ur day getin better xox" ...Wow I'm a lucky girl, it means alot to have someone just be thoughtful enough to check up on me and understand that I'm just having 'one of those days' for no good reason. And after that one of the guys in the group I work for called 'Just to give me warm fuzzies' so I'm feeling like I just need to get over myself, life is good!

2006-06-27T14:14:00.000+12:00

UPDATE

Loving my new training plan - broken down into 6 parts

Total legs
Chest
Quads
Shoulders / Arms
Hams
Back

Each day includes either walking to and from the gym (20 mins hill each way) or 10 mins cardio warm up and 10 -20 mins cardio to end depending on how my tim eis going.

This is working well for me. I am doing at 3 evening sesions a week also eg: Monday 40 mins cardio, Today I will be making up some excersises I could not fit in this mornings session and doing at least 30mins cardio.

Eating is good keeping cals between 1300 and 1600 some days higher carbs than others, eating only protien source and salad / green veg for last evening meal

Oats and Shake
Tuna & oats
Chicken & large salad
Low Fat Cottage Cheese 1/2 protein bar
Protine Bar & shake
Tuna or Chicken breast only

Lots of Water! 3+ caffeinated drinks

Have started on Thermodynamx again, it worked well for me a while ago, so am re-introducing, since it's been a while.

This all looks pretty clean, and for the most part it is. My timing with a varience of 1 - 3 hours between meals depending of how I'm feeling. I also have to confesse that breakfast cereal has been something that I've been picking at to compact my lack of carbs. Woops need to control myself some more, but think that the extra cardio an workouts in the evening are making me hungry and tired, although right now I feel bloated from too many handfulls of sneaky cereal.

Body Building inspiration: J and I went to a show where we knew some of the competitiors it was great, so now more than ever the pressure is on, so many people are asking when I will be competing so I'm getting into the training pretty hard now. Every rep counts!

2006-06-23T16:08:00.000+12:00

Thank you to my BLENDS....

Your support and kind words mean so much to me, you may never know how much I appreciate your help, friendship, advice and general positivity. Even through we have never meet, or spoken, other than through our blogs, I feel blessed to call you my 'Blends'. What an amazing world and time we live in.

ME UPDATE:

Life is great - still happy in love with J. Work outs are wonderful, I have found a new intensity with my new workouts, and believe it or not my diet is clean, clean, clean.

More from me next week, it's Friday home time here in NZ.

Hugs

2006-06-20T12:30:00.000+12:00

Drum roll please ... finally pics of the boy!

Ok so I've taken my time, but I'm pleased to finally show you the guy who is making me sooo very happy!

Thanks too for all the nice posts from people who got directed to me from Racheal - she's just the coolest ever!

My Back is way better - almost back to perfect about 98% so needless to say I'm all about training hard at the gym and going for it with my diet - the scale numbers and fat should be in check and back to before in about 2 weeks and then I shall just keep on with it!

I will be trying out a new combination workout for Hamstrings + Calf and Abs tomorrow and then Back the next day. These are mainly all excersises I do anyway but will follow the set recomendation and order best I can. Will Post the work outs if it's any good.

I've had a couple of good Cardio sessions on the Treadmill and am happy to report that in my down time my fitness did not suffer to much. Love it!

2006-06-15T14:35:00.000+12:00

What I have been doing ... and will be doing...

I have been depressed: When I hurt my back I was so upset that I would

miss out on training (I did - but I'm over it),
that I was showing weakness (I did - but I'm over it),
I would get depressed (I did - but I'm over it),
that I would eat badly because I was missing out on training, weak, depressed and then put on weight (I DID! - I am dealing with it and I will get over it)

- could have been worse than it is.

I have been working: Part of my job as a marketing co-ordinator is to plan, and run conferences and Expo's which makes for an interesting job with busy & Non Busy periods. This week and the 3 weeks leading up have been very busy for me, and although I check in to read my favourite Bloggs I am left with little time to Blog myself. But the work load has lessened and I am basking in the 'Light at the end of the tunnel' as I just ran another successfull conference. In spite of my back, and a power black out for 1 whole day!

I have been (still am)falling for J: This may sound fast but he has already said he loves me, and he says it alot, I wonder if he places less value on those words than I do or if he really does love me. I am failing for him big time while I do love him, I am still getting to know him and my love is still growing for him. I have said I love him, but comming from a relationship with a man who had trouble expressing feelings for me, I am a bit 'taken a back' by it all. But it is a great ride to be on.

I have been getting texts: I hate that I have turned Carl into a person who can't give up, he has taken to texting me "Good night, babe" before bed, and I don't like it, I do not respond. Last night he text "Stil luv ya stil want ya back nite baby" I didn't respond, I can't, he'll only think that he has broken through to me.

I will be Flying: Tomorrow I am getting an all expenses familiarisation tour to a town in the South Island. I will be Flying down tomorrow morning, being taken to museums, go glass blowing, go to a 5 star resturaunt, go on a speed boat trip, and stay in a resort hotel, plus have 2 hours shopping in the morning before being whisked back to Auckland. It' like a weeks worth of tourist stuff crammed into 24 hours. And I get paid to do it and everything is included. They are trying to get me to use the facilities down there for my conference groups. Times like this I love my job.

I will be staying with J: Tonight I'm over at J's, closer to airport and he wants to spend time with me. And then when I get back from my trip I will stay till Monday morning when we go to
the gym together.

I will not be in to work: I'm taking Monday off work, to re-group and recover from conference, stayed in Hotel the whole time, Staying at J's, and my trip to South Island), by recover I really mean laundry, cleaning, and un-packing belongings from when I moved out of Carls. I think I will try sell my stuff on-line of to second hand store, to make some pocket money.

I WILL BE RECOMMITED TO WORKING OUT AN DEATING CLEAN IN PREPARATION AND TRAINING FOR COMPETITION

2006-06-14T09:22:00.000+12:00

PICTURE UPDATE

I haven't posted pics for a while so thought it best to update and show where I am at the moment. I have had a few set backs:

Bad back put me out for a full week
I have been working away from home at a conference so training and eating has been bad for 5 days now
I have a trip away also for work all expence paid for 24 hours on Friday / Saturday to look for conference venues.

But then after all of that I will be starting fresh (which seems like all I do these days).

I will be re-motivated and re-focused, the time out is a blessing.

I will still be using the diet plan I laid out before my injury and I will be working out even harder and have 2-3 evening sessions of cardio (even though it's winter) I want to lean out and drop my weight to 65kg, (have been floating between 68 - 71 for some time) I believe I will be happy with this size to grow and train untill I begin to strip down for summer and contest preparation at the end of this year. I am very glad to have J to train with and we will be competing together too, he has persuaded me to train and grow good muscle over the next few months and focus on long term ruther than rush into the competition. I am happy with this and financially I will be better prepared and be able to hire a trainer and get help where needed.

These pictures were taken last night after 5 days of not working out (only got a few jogs in) and eating every meal from a buffet table - too many options and too bigger helpings, I tried to be good in my choices most of the time, but I didn't drink enough water, ate sugary and salty processed foods and had 4 glasses of red wine (total over whole conference).

These pictures show that I have not been focused enough, plus there was no way I would show my legs (really lost shape) or lower body cause I was bloated, maybe I will take full pictures just for comparision over the next few months.

I must confess that one night I had snack food and high carb stuff at that and I tell you what my body hated me, and I was depressed CLEAN EATING is the only way.

I have also told a few people I am aiming to compete so this will in time make me more accountable. One day my blends I will make you proud of me and I will compete and do my best.

I do not consider my set backs excuses, but I will be giving myself the kick in the butt to move onwards and upwards.

- BE OPTIMISTIC - BE PASSIONATE - BE CONFIDENT - BE POSITIVE -

A while ago I blogged about some Nike pants that I brought - finally here is the pic I took wearing them. This is the outfit I was wearing when J first asked me out! Yes this picture was taken at my old house that I lived with Carl in... hmmm oh well thems the brakes.

2006-06-06T14:51:00.000+12:00

Pain in the .......... BACK!

Well as far as I'm concerned as of this morning things are going great with J. I spent the long weekend with him, he's such a great guy and we are really in love... mmmm nice!

On Saturday morning we went to gym like normal, I was going to do cardio and then hit my legs with good strong session including ab's. J's work out partner didn't turn up so we did his work out together, based around Leg press and 5 other excerses incorporated and ab's all was going really well and we were moving to the last excersise and I eyed up an extra plate on my Leg press machine strated out ok but at the 6th rep I pulled something in my back real bad, me being me I tried ot push the stack up and pulled my back further - I thought I was going to vomit right there in the gym in was so painfull! J felt really bad for me, I crawled up stairs and lay on the floor and then streached out on the Swiss ball. We walked to the pharmacy and got pain killers and pain gel to rub in the area. I limped to the car and tried to get in oh my gosh so painfull I couldn't move my legs and was crying, gosh poor J he was so understanding but I'm sure he was thinking my god what has she done to herself. He took my home to his place and took care of me all weekend, back rubs, pain killers. I never would have got that from Carl - he (rightly or wrongly) would have said I was pushing myself to hard! Although it's true you don't need to hear it! You need someone who takes care of you, tells you he loves you and doesn't like seeing his girl hurt (That's what J was like).

SO it's been 3 days since I hurt myself and it's still pretty bad like when I move to certain angles but is getting better as the days go by. I went to the gym this monring walked slowly for 40mins, streached then walked for another 20mins. This is all I am going to be doing until I'm better as I've been banned (by J) from lifting until I can do a chartwheel without any pain. THIS SUCKS! But as a girlfriend of mine said - It's your back, not something to mess with! So I'll behave. Plus I have a conference that takes me away from teh gym for 5 days over the weekend and into next week and thena trip to the South Island for 24 hours so I won't be in the gym for real until Saturday 17th June ... this will give my back the best chance as I will be out of temptations way so to speak.

Now is the time to focus on my eating, cause I don't want to put on any weight, while I'm not working out hard like normal! In saying that, today (feeling sorry for myself) I've eaten lots of dried bannana chips, dried fruit, and lots of nuts and yoghurt covered raisens. Could be worse but I say 1 day to feel sorry for myself and then back to it as it is another day after all and I need to get it out of my system for once and for all!

I'm going to make myself feel better tonight!

I'm going to Highlight my hair (home job with help of Mum)
Tint my eye lashes
Paint my nails (had my acrilics removed - sad pamped princess is dead for a while - I'm to poor)
Have a hot shower to wash it all off
Shave my legs
Apply fake tan

It may be winter here in NZ, but gosh darn it I'm going to look the best I can! Bound to be a pick me up and make me feel better - better than eating truck loads of rubbish food! ALrady feeling bloated formthe snacks eaten today

It's all about being positive I think so I've listed so life ideas to keep my focus in the positive. As always my attitude is my choice!

Live for the day
Laugh
Be passionate
Be optimistic
Follow your dreams
Be confident
Harness your inner strengthS
urround yourself with positive people, weed out the negative
Don't be a vicitm
Glass half full

Well overhere in NZ it's already the 6/6/06 .... 666 the number of the beast he he ha ha!

But in most parts of the world it's still June 5th

Best wishes to Bev on her big day, love ya girl can't wait to see the pics!

2006-05-29T15:36:00.000+12:00

Oh Gosh...

Woops I fell off the Blogger Wagon, I've been so busy, I didn't realise that I haddn't posted in such a long time.

Life is great with J (still no pics, cause I can't find my camera charger), we have been seeing each other each weekend (all weekend) and he even broke out the 'L' word twice this weekend - harmless stuff like ''You know i just love you, don't you?"... etc so sweet and open with his affection for me. Gosh and I can't keep my hands off him either. he he we got in trouble for being too noisy this morning at 4.30am (early morning cardio?) there was banging on the wall from the tenents downstairs oops.

And in the other corner of my life is Carl, he is looking pretty good - as he's been working out hard and making improvemets to his diet - I have to remember that there were reasons why we fell out of love and I broke up with him. But last week he helped me out big time with my car by getting a Mechanic Friend of his to service my car for a very reasonable price as a favour to him - don't get me wrong, it's a nice thing for him to do but it's also a way of staying in my life and me still relying on him (he still wants me back). I do think he's great and sometimes there are feelings for him, the comfort the easiness, to just slip back into the easy way of life with him, but then I remember it wasn't always easy and there are things in his life I can't deal with.

Back to J, he was with a women who was 34 years old for a while (few months only), Carl was 35 so it's interesting that we have chosen to be with someone in our age group it's cool. Things are pretty simple with J at the moment and I am happy with how we are moving along, we even spoke about our ex's (me for the first and last time - to get it out in the open) and now we don't need to talk about it any more! I was complimentary about Carl and said we were going in different directions and that apart from the ex-wife, kid and being jealous of the gym and somewhat controlling - he was in fact a nice guy and J would proably get on with him in the grand scheme of things.

Mum finally got to meet J as well, we dropped by her work on Saturday (yes shes one of those work - a - holics) to pick up some movie tickets. It was only for about 10mins and we had just come from the gym. When I text her later that day he said he seemed 'nice' 'quiet compared to Carl' I will get the real verdict from her tonight I guess when I get home.

Work outs have been good, diet average - pretty stressed at work so I snack on dried fruit and grapes (not really to plan oops and more than I should!) ooooh and I love dried banna chips (high high cal. and carbs) could be worse, but I'm holding my shape and not gaining weight or anything at this time. Have been having a few red wines with J too, but that's ok. FOR NOW!

We are both planning on doing a competition together now, so I have a few more months than planned to put on mucsle and loose fat (he says we should do it properly and not rush, preparation is key!) SO unless I get really motivated for an October competion or early November the goal is to work hard through winter look fantastic in summer and cut up for a May competition. Which really works in well as my work schedual is hectic to say the least (Oct/Nov could still be posible) I want to do a trail diet the next 4 weeks to see the effect with (Sat/Sun loosened up, they will be red meat days with higher carbs) the rest of the week will be high protien and low carb Cals. around 1,300 per day with 3-4 evening cardio sessions per week thrown in.

THE PLAN:
M1: 1/4 - 1/3 cup Oats with protein shake
M2: Protein Shake or egg whites (x4)
M3: 200gms Chicken or Tuna, 200gms sweet potato, Steamed veg or salad
M4: Protein Shake or egg whites (x4) or cottage cheese
M5: 200gms Chicken or Tuna, green salad or steamed veg
M6: Protein Shake or egg whites or cottage cheese

Works out to about 1,2500 - 1,300 cal depending on options chosen. I really need to focus here.

*I'm addicted to coffee again.

OH AND I WANT AB's SO IT"S FULL ON WITH ABS BETWEEN MOST SETS MOST DAYS! YEAH!

Work outs have been good J and I even trained legs together yesterday (sunday) worked out to be 12 set on leg press! Cause we'd do Leg Press alturnating betweeen set of other legs exercises like quad Ext, and ham curls (Really full on) yeah I feel it today.

Work out days broken up like this:
(abs every day at least 100 - 150 reps)

1.Chest & Abs (10 set of 25reps)
2.Legs light, high rep
3.Shoulders /Bi/Tri
4.Legs Heavy and hard
5.Back with back extentions and Ab's (10set of 25 reps)

2006-05-16T09:04:00.000+12:00

LOVING IT!

This morning I woke up at 3.38 am and decided to stay up and fold my laundry - so I'm up to date and organised from the weekend now. My alarm goes off at 4.10 am anyhow so I can get ready and drive to J's house so we can walk to the gym, so it really wasn't too wild and crazy a time to get up, but I think I will feel it this afternoon! Hopefully I'll be able to make it early to bed tonight (been around 10 - 10.30 pm each night latley) and with getting up early I'm sure to hit a brick wall soon if I don't get some extra sleep, not to mention I need sleep to build my body!

Walked to gym as per normal with J, it's so cool, he says things like how he loves it that my face is the first he see's in the morning, and he only wishes that I didn't have to drive over and could wake up with me every morning, you know all that cool stuff. I said he'd probably get sick of me pretty quick if that were the case, he said he thought it'd be me who'd get sick of him. So yeah I think we feel the same about each other. He and I are already talking about the Long Holiday Weekend coming up and what we should do, and then August as we have been invited to the South Island for snowboarding and hunting etc! Could be good.

I haven't been able to bring myself to tell Carl I'm seeing someone else yet, (it wold break him - that's what he said) and last weekend J and I were shopping and I nearly got seen by mutal friends of Carl and I (more his friends), bit of a close call, I just don't think enough time has gone by and Carl still has his heart set on me coming back - I do owe it to him to be honest though - but it would just be easy if someone saw me out with J and the sh*t could hit the fan and it's be over and done with.

Work Out:
20min walk to gym + 20 min walk back as warm up cool down
Back day, lifted heavy, doing my best lifts for max reps, really good.

Diet: clean, clean, clean
M1: Oats and Shake (250)
M2: Cottage Cheese and small Chicken strip left over (200)
M3: Tuna & Salad (250)
M4: Tuna (185)
M5: Shake (105)
M6: Tuna, Celery, Egg white, mustard salad (250)

NOTES: 1,240 approx cal. only guessing but good to get idea, will gage how I feel in meal 5 may add carb component. I will need to buy more chicken, there is a lot of tuna being eaten today, also need to buy eggs and boil / fry in advance.
Living off coffee and sugar free energy drinks for a pick me up at times - Must up water in-take, 2 lts + to clean up my system somewhat.

2006-05-15T11:19:00.000+12:00

Great weekend

Ok sorry, I've been very slack with my blogging, can I blame happiness and life moving at a very busy pace? These times are times I should be blogging about, but I find myslef too excited by living life to stop and blog. Plus work has been very busy too!

So things are moving along well with J he is really great, we get on so well and have fun all the time. I really am falling for him (dare I say it). He's so giving with compliments and always telling me how great i am, we constantly think of things we want to do together and joke that we should right a list (planning things is a great sign for me), is is very affectionate too (more than I normally am, but he's bringing it out in me), can I also say that for the last 2 1/2 I have been short changed in the bed aspect of life, J is fannnntastic (that's it before I give to much info)!

Once again I spent the weekend with him, Firday night through Monday morning - we decided though advice from people who know what they are talking about to have 2 days off from the gym. So on Saturday Mothers Day I took Mum out with lunch, went back to J's and we watched movies (it was raining), had and awsome evening. On Sunday we slept in (7.30 sleep in for us) and mucked about in bed for an hour then we got up and went to the city and did a 12 km run around the waterfront, then had a great healthy salmon brunch, did some shoping and back to his place for movies etc.

J and I already talk about the future together - it's a bit fast, but nice and I know we are onl the same page so it seems ok. He even said we should have some photos taken of us together (which would be cool) he is very cute I'm so attracted to him, I need pictures, and maybe I'll post 1 or 2 here on the blog.

So this morning we ventured back to the gym again, the best thing about taking time out is how keen I am to get back into it with more focus than before - rocked my leg work out really hard and heavy am sore but happy! My eating today has been shocking - all good planned meals but very large portions, that being said I ate lightly in the weekend and I think the big run took it out of me. Back on track no slip up's what so ever from now! Have a great healthly meal planned for this evening too.

Had a visit at work from my friend Alana (who's BF is a good friend of Carls) seems that Mr Carl has only been telling his side of the story - no surprises there, so I showed her the letter I wrote explaining my situation (her BF said I had left Carl 'A note') hmmmm right. So it was an interesting hour, I'm not surprised by what was said, Carl is still upst, but when I showed her the e-mails he sent accusing me of having a mental disorder she understood why I felt I had made the right choice to leave! She like many people said she knew the relationship was failing apart and that she could see it was on it's way out.

2006-05-08T13:41:00.000+12:00

Back on track.

Firstly thank you to those of your who have in the past few weeks given me feed back and help along the way. My thanks to you for not being judgemental.

Well life is good, I'm moving on (perhaps too quickly) and am happy. It's been a long time coming for me, and I kept much locked up inside.

Training: Is fantastic not only am I motivated and have the freedom to work how I want when I want but I also have a great friend at the gym, J is so supportive and is far from controlling, we still work out at the same time and for the most part do our own things - he has two training partners during the week, but he also spends time helping and teaching me new things between his sets and at the end of his work outs, he knows I prefer to work out alone but I'm loving the time he spends helping me. (plus the sly winks and small kisses he sneaks in during my work outs are fun)

Routine: Since moving out I have had to replace my old routine which was to wake at 5am drive to the gym, do cardio, work out, drive home, eat get ready for work etc. Now I drive to J's place and we walk 25 mins to the gym, work out and walk 25 mins back to his place (outside cardio instead of wasting my gym time) and then I go to work, shower there and have breakfast at my desk. It takes organisation and planing, but I'm driven and love the fact that I'm at work early and making the most of my time at the gym to work out and spend time with the new guy in my life.

Diet: Well I certainly don't find myself comfort eating anymore, because I'm happy, I'm also not sneaking into my room for 'MY TIME' and eating. Food is now well timed and very good cal. intake between 1,200 and 1,600 daily. J and I have had many a good meal and he has exposed me to things like Venison (YUMMY & OH SO GOOD) along with the freedom to eat Sea Food (Which Carl hated).

My weight: 68.6kg this morning YEAH! And I'm on TOM so it will drop some more in the next few days, due to some water retention.

I have been getting compliments from people at the gym as to how good I am looking and how good my arms are looking along with being talked about because I'm happy and with a 'new guy'. And at work people are commenting on how silm I am. They don't know better, and don't know the hard work I'm putting my body through to shape and firm not just be slim.

So I made the right choice. Sad that Carl is still hurting, he has asked me to not contact him for a while, he needs time to come to terms that he can't win me back no matter how much he says he loves me.

2006-05-05T13:19:00.000+12:00

Fall Out from Leaving my BF

This is the blanket text he sent to everyone he knows:

" Carl here Eve has left me 4 her new first love the GYM she would rather spend 3-6 hrs a day at the gym & has no time 4 any1 or thing else in her life"

B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L

So I guess he is hurting. Sooo not classy, but at this stage I'm so far through this that I find it funny. This morning I had asked if he had told many people (the last week or so he'd been hoping I'd come back and told friends I was at the gym so he didn't have to say we'd broken up) and he'd said not many, so I guess this blanket text is his way of getting the word out there and having a dig at me.

I wish I spent 3 hours at the gym!

So below is the letter I wrote him when braking up. I'm pretty sure the brake up has more to do with just the gym! What do you think?

Carl,

This is weak I know. But I had to take the opportunity to collect some of my things. I know I will need to work with you to clear all of my stuff out but I don’t know if it’s right to do it straight away. I have only taken things that are mine (not much to my name really – sad).

I’m sorry it’s come to this and you feel betrayed by me. I did love you, and dreamed about a future with you, but we have changed, I have changed, I cannot whole heartedly continue down this path with you at this time.

I know you believe it to be the fault of me going to the gym and becoming obsessed with myself – it hurts to hear you say it but in many ways it is true. I am not the same person I was 3 years ago, this has probably lost me many friends, but I’m happier in my abilities as a person. Your nature to control and protect forced me to fight you every step of the way where changing my body and health was concerned, I would have hoped for more support not being made to feel guilty for making myself better. It’s true sometimes you were supportive but many times you made me feel as if I was doing something bad, so I would come home instead only to be greeted with rudeness and distain for even suggesting I go to the gym to finish a planned session – having run out of time in the morning.

I truly wish that I wasn’t as selfish as I am and that our relationship was able to adapt with change. There was an ‘us’, but I think you at times wanted it more than I was willing to allow, once again MY FAULT.

By leaving I understand that I may be making the biggest mistake of my life. You have empowered me, giving me so much, made adjustments for me and taking into account my needs and I thank you for this. It is not EASY to leave, you have made a very nice lifestyle for us but emotionally the connection has faded, we want different things. Truly it would be unfair to us both to continue, as ships passing in the night, talking very little, with little love or affection between us.

I can’t be the supportive family person you want and you son deserves. He’s a fantastic child and unfortunately I under-valued him for much of the time we have been together, my life will be emptier for some time to come. Your family welcomed me and made me at home, I hate that I’ll not be able to spend time with them.

I hate that your Ex-wife interfered as much as she did (probably pissing me off more than you), but I don’t attribute her to much more than an inconvenience and annoyance.

In good conscience I cannot go on. It has been eating away at me for months, I thought I could get past my feelings of doubt and many times I think I did, only for them to re-surface.

Do not hate me forever, we have so much good history and have both grown for the better in personal aspects of our lives, through and because of our relationship. It is far from years wasted. I’m insulted you think that, and can only guess this break-up will make you happy to know you will not be wasting any more of your time on me.

That said, I’m sad but understandably relieved to have voiced my feelings to you. God I loved you with all my heart, when I think back, my heart morns the fun we have had over the years. I’ve been lucky to have had you in my life.

- Eve

2006-05-04T15:59:00.000+12:00

Taken from Blog of a fitness competitor: Things I will need to consider before competing

"If you've thought about competing first consider this list and tell yourself HONESTLY if you are ready.Are you ready:
1. To eat your food absolutely anywhere- when it's feeding time, you have to eat. I eat in cars (a LOT), business meetings, airports, conferences, restaurants (meaning, pull out your own tupperware in a restaurant!)

2. To eat for nutrition only- can you stomach room temperature chicken breast and egg whites?

3. To answer the same inevitable questions over and over- What kind of contest? Like a beauty pageant? What are you eating? What IS that?

4. To be made a spectacle- WOW! You sure do drink a lot of water, don't you? Oh, no, she doesn't want any, she doesn't eat. WHAT IS THAT you're drinking?

5. To be physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted- with no reprieve until it's over. Oh yea, and hungry. YOU WILL BE HUNGRY.

6. To say no and miss out- on parties, dinners, get togethers, trips, vacations, holidays, celebrations.

7. To faulter in other parts of your life- your family, friends, work, other hobbies WILL all suffer to some degree.

8. To have almost no one understand. Be prepared to feel very alone, no matter how many internet friends or real life people you know preparing for a competition. You will still feel alone.

9. To be unhealthy. Don't fool yourself into thinking this is a healthy lifestyle. You will put your body through truly unhealthy measures to achieve. Be prepared for the emotional hurdle after a competition of going from 8% bodyfat (unhealthy) to a healthy, maintainable 12-14%. It's tough.

10. To feel the most amazing sense of accomplishment and pride. To know that you wanted it worse than everyone else, and you took it. To achieve what most people won't because they don't have the drive, determination and real desire to get there, but YOU DO!"

2006-04-27T11:22:00.000+12:00

There's no way of saying this....

I did it, I left Carl and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Life is good again and I'm ready to move on. Happened over the log week end i took - told him I was moving back to Mum & Dads for a while, but I've decided to call it quites. He's not happy, but I've been going over this in my head for months really. Sad but true! And I've lost alot of weight I'm now at 68.9kg I'm excited!

That's all for now, thanks for your support ya'll sorry this is so short.

2006-04-21T15:05:00.000+12:00

Basic Update

So my mum went through something like this herself - only she was married and it only went as far as lunch and coffee. So she understands. I text J yesterday and we got on great in the evening I finally admited my situation and he was really cool about it and said he'd still like to hang out once in a while and nothing would be weird at the gym (which is something I was really worried about!)

My resolve is to now discuss things with Carl in a relaxed non threatening manner and ask weather he is happy how he really views our relationship and future etc.

Diet is sooo good at the moment! Never really overly hungry, and have not touched anything bad all week.

Work outs: Bar some distraction at the gym things are great, lots of cardio and dog running too.

Round up: All in all it's been a great fitness week - I'm down to 71.2 kgs (scale is finally moving) and I feel fantastic. I want to make it through the weekend without a slip up - as the weekends can be hard with missed meals, lack of planning and the ease of over snacking!

Have a great weekend. Thanks to everyone for your insites into my issues, it's hard to see both sides sometimes.

2006-04-20T09:47:00.000+12:00

The next installment...

Sadly I can't blog at home cause I would hate for Carl to read this! We didn't talk so much as yell at each other - like how I feel like a room mate rather than in a relationship etc. He went on about how I'm as selfish as the day he meet me etc if that's true then why are we here nearly 3 years down the track? That said I am selfish (an only child too so that does not help).

At this stage I'm still only 26 years old and in my mind I'm not ready to get married and play happy families.

The trips to the gym - yeah it might have been nice to see J there you're not wrong, but it is more an outlet and an escape as well as staying true to my goals. He was never there when I was over the Easter Break.

The big news today is that he handed me a slip of paper with his number on it and said to give me a call or text sometime if I wanted and we could meet up, maybe go for a hike or something (he knows I love running my dog in the bush). So the balls in my court and action needs to be taken.

Either be naughty and meet up and not tell him my situation (BAD),
text and tell him I'm not avaliable although I wish I was and would like to hang out,
or totally say I can't,
break up with Carl move out and then figure it out.
I don't know for sure - but I think I'll play it honest and let J know where I'm at (not that I even know) and speak with Carl - even if I move out for a few weeks to think about everything.
Could text flirt, but when the shit hits the fan it was be a plesent place to work out at the gym if things are bad. SO not an option.

Carl is a VERY good man, I feel strongly for him, but as I said there is no spark at the moment. Somehting needs to happen - we are in a rut and we need to work out if it's time to press on or end it. He'd be hurt I know that, but I have never known the extent to which he feels for me, and it's rare for him to show emotion.

What can I say Blaaaa....

OR ... I could just go back to being FAT and not have issues like this!

2006-04-19T14:55:00.000+12:00

Ya' know what I really hate?

I hate when people I like reading about don't keep up with their blogs! LIKE ME! I'm so slack.

Ok, so Easter came and went and I got nothing! Big fat nothing, and I had to spend my holidays with Carls son! So I'm confused, un-happy, and have a kid (who's not mine) in the house. I spent most of my Easter 4 day break running with my dog on a new bush track I found (5 times in 4 days), going to the gym (5 work outs - even though the gym was closed 1 day) and hiding in the bedroom reading, oh and being a general grumpy bitch. The only good thing was that the day my gym was closed Carl and I went to a friends house to weight train, it was kinda fun (although I was still in a grump). I thought that I was rationalising things with myself and of course taking into account everyone who posted's opinions (thanks by the way), but then I'd look at Carl and just not feel happy, the spark that was there, has really gone out at the moment. And ya know it's not just the crush, because I've spoken with the hotty at the gym (I'll call him J) and we get on and he's still hot and everything - but it's not that, if anything the issues have just been brought up by what happend. I still have a lot to think about really, I know this.

J: Well on Tuesday we spoke for real as I was waiting for his friend to finish off a set. It was low key and focused on what we did for the holiday (both of us just hit the gym and stayed local). I was glad that it wasn't strange or anything. This morning I pulled into the carpark at the gym, struggled out with my gym bag and next thing I hear is "Oh, good morning." it was J, he lives close to the gym and walks there. We walked in talking, all good, not flirting or anything, real conversation and left it at that. Now to say that I wasn't happy seeing him or I didn't look foward to at least seeing him working out would be a lie, but... well ... who knows? I think he's the distraction I need, and makes me question my relationship and what will make me happy in the long run.

Training: Well as I said before, I worked out alot over the holidays, but still the numbers on the scales will not budge. I train hard! Tonight I am trying something new and going to a group class 'Body Attack' with a friend. She says it's fun so I'm in, I need all the extra cardio I can get. Although this morning I did 2 hard treddy sessions (20mins each), and legs.

Eating: I would say is good a few missed meals here or there, nothing bad and no really bad over eating, I planned on having two small marshmellow eggs and that's all I had. Of-course I brought them (12 in total) to share with carl and kiddo but all I got was NOTHING! and a be-grudging thank you for Carl and not a word from kiddo, plus I brought kiddo a baseball cap to be nice and treat him but not with food. Blaaaaa!

2006-04-13T09:40:00.000+12:00

HE'S SO HOT!

So for a week or so I've been noticing this guy at the gym - HE"S HOT! And I think I've been catching him looking at me and vice versa (truth be told) so at the begining of the week we bagan smiling at each other (OMG HE"S SOOOO HOT!) and he has the cutest 'naughty' smile Ive ever seen.

So this morning I made my way up to the cardio area and jumped my 'lucky' treadmil, started to run ad he walked past to leave, I look up and smile he does too and I think to myself HE'S SOOOOO HOT. Well he walk past, stops, walks up to me, I pull off my headphones, he smiles and says: "This might be a bad time," What with me on the treddy "But are you busy tomorrow night?" (Friday) OMG, OMG, think of something to say - OMG OMG Evie you have a boyfriend.. "Umm Yeah." that's it - I got asked out and that's all I could say. He took it in his stride and walked out, I wanted to jump off the treadmill and follow him, tell his I wish I wasn't busy and introduce myself becuase as I keep saying - he's so hot. But I don't, I have a boyfriend, that's the real reason I'm busy. Not that I will be 'Busy' Friday night at best will consist of watching a DVD or TV casue we have his kid over the Easter Break or we might go away in the camper van whoop de doo I hate going away in that thing - I only like it when we are with other people at a beach and it's hot.

What's wrong with my relationship that I'm even entertaining the idea, that I got such a kick out of being asked out? My relationship is just plodding along, going no-where fast, it's safe and boring.

Oh and by the way I was feeling pretty un-beatable today too - Favourite new outfit on, chest work out (love it), and my body image was right up there. And then I get asked out by the hotest guy at the gym (my opinion) - but I know hot, and he would have been so out of my league 2 years ago when I was fat. Is that why I feel like this, cause I know he's atracted to me, becuse he thinks I look good, not becuse of my 'Good personality' blaaaa or that he thinks I'll 'be greatful, becuse I'm fat - yes been with guys like that, just cause I had low self confidence.

Ok I'm coming down from the 'High', I'm getting real, but next week day at 5.30am, I'll be looking out for him, it's a crush - it's not that bad, is it? I'll introduce myself anyway, I can deal with a cute 'friend' at the gym, it's not like Carl let's me out of the house on my own enough to have an affair let alone a friendship outside of the gym.

Giddy, hot, flustered, flattered, happy, confused, trapped, flirty.....

2006-04-11T11:29:00.000+12:00

Can't find cable to download pics - will look again tonight, it'll be around.

Well I was all keen yesterday to train hard for a competion and I still am! This morningI hit the gym at 5.40am and had a great run and hard out leg session. Tonight I will be going for a walk after work also.

Body image today: Still fel fat, and my pants are tight nuff said.

2006-04-10T16:05:00.000+12:00

How's this for a date: 22 July 2006
(If I blog it, it will happen!?)

Why is this date important? It's a day after my birthday... and also the date of a Body Building contest that I'm training for. I say training for because I have alot of work to do and lots of fat to drop, it's a hard call and may not be enough time, I will have to evaluate the situation as I go.

Why am I talking about this when I'm not 100% I will compete? Well I need goals and dates, this gives me the motivation, if I'm not ready for the July 22nd then at least I'll be in the best shape of my life for my birthday and there are about 4 other competions between August and October I could do, (that's my back up).

Well it was TOM yesterday and I felt fat, bloated, ugly as I worked out. Afterwards I rewarded a crap workout with crap eating (Oats & Shake, big bag of mixed nuts and dried fruit, 2 protien bars, 8 rice crackers, lite yoghurt, chicken and salad for dinner and another lite yoghurt & grapes) I'm not weighing myself untill I feel smaller and know that I'm keeping focused, and of course when I feel my clothes are fiting better.

So there's a small issue at home with me training in the evenings as well as the morning (it's only happened a few times). But as of late, I've been really lack luster getting dressed and out the door at 5.30am and end up at the gym at about 6.00am which really cuts into my cardio time! So to pick up the slack I return on my way home to add extra cario and finish what ever weights I missed out on (ie tonight 30 mins cardio and Bicep). The problem is Carl doesn't think I need to go twice a day and won't accept that I need more time - this leads to him being pissed off. I know I'm right in following my dreams and he needs to just deal with it. The quote the other day was: "You're NOT competing so you DON"T need to go twice a day!" well now I AM training for competion and I DO need to go if I've missed out something in my program. And I WILL be going more oftern if I have to! This is one time I can't back down and I'll either have his support or it'll test our relationship big time. I'm planning on trying to calmly introduce more workouts but only time will tell. All I can say is at least he is training with a friend of ours now too - God knows he needs to get rid of his gut! And as I said yesterday while on an evening walk with our dog, "You're not getting any younger." Thing is he looked a bit hurt - Please note this is the man who told me I was getting fat and that you could see the cellulite on my thighs 2 years ago before BFL. So you can see I'm not going to dance around the issue like I have been if he keeps on acting like he knows best for me when he is so out of shape now! (boots on the other foot and I'm going to use it if I have to, to kick his butt).

Took pictures of the pants I was talking about in previous posts, but now I can't find the cable to down load them - will search tonight after gym after dinner, while Carl is working.

2006-04-05T14:41:00.000+12:00

Oh, I am soooo naughty!

Ok so as I posted below, I love my new training pants! Well I went out at lunch time and got a pair in black too. They so rock. Well I then had to get a new pink top to go with the first pair... opps, it's not like I do this all the time, and gosh darn it if it makes me feel good when I work out then so be it.

ROCK ON!

2006-04-05T09:25:00.000+12:00

Pretty New Workout Clothes...
Make for a great work out this morning!
Today is a great day! And it's only 9.30am.
(73.8 kg, body image 6/10, W/O Shoulders & Arms, 3lt H2O, life is good)

So on Monday I went out shopping for new tops to wear at the gym, mine are looking old and out'a shape. Was slightly un-happy cause I could find the tops I normally wear so went to a big chain sports store and found a great EVERLAST tank top (blk with wht writting) and some awsome cardio pants from NIKE.

I wore the pants for the first time this morning, with a pink tank top. the Plants are dark Navy blue with pinky/purple band and features & trim, you can make them shorter by adjusting the elatic in the legs and they are way flatering - I felt like the work out queen. (admitedly they were $90.00 - shhh don't tell Carl) But they are great and light and I love them if they made them in different colours I'd buy more, screw the winter work clothes shoping. I worn them with my awsome new white/silver/Pinky Purple trim work out shoes also from Nike. Normally I wear mainly Black, Grey or dark blue gear, so needless to say I felt pretty special and hot workingout today. Amazing what a new outfit will do for your self image.

My BF Carl started to work out with a friend of ours (Johnny) in his home gym. Johnny so really built and works out hard (and knows about Body Building), I'm so happy Carl is finally doing this, he's gunna look so buff. He said he has to so he can "Scare away all the guys at the gym away from me."
I was like "Yeah, what guys, you've only been to the gym with me once."
"Yeah," he said "And each time you moved to another machine there were at least 6 guys watching you. You'd set the weight and they'd watch a few reps and go on to what they were doing."
In my mind I'm thinking yeah right, I wish, but I'm also thinking what a cool compliment! A little jealousy keeps everyone on their toes, so it's all good.

Work out Yesterday: Legs, lots of squats, box step ups and my favourite walking lunges!

Work out today: Shoulders and Tri's, pushed really hard and felt confident in my movements (amazing what a new outfit will do) . Only 12min cario as warm up on cross trainer.

Work out this afternoon(after work): Biceps & Abs + 20mins carido on the treddy?

Diet: Has been great these last 2 days, did have extra fruit yesterday but if I'm gunna have extra fruit it's best on a leg day cause those workouts take it out of me! Today I have it all planned out with:
M1. Oats and Frozen shake,
M2. Frozen BFL Cafe Coffee shake & Apple
M3. Chicken breast, Sweet potatoe slices (done in george grill), and steamed brocoli for lunch M4. 2 x Turkey drum sticks (baked with no fat) & ff soup in a cup? Maybe.
M5. Chicken and green veg, grilled or steamed
M6. Protein Shake if still hungry
Grand total between 1,600 & 1,700 cals

2006-04-03T11:40:00.000+12:00

Not so pleased with myself yesterday - but today is another day!
(bloated weight feels like 1000kg!, body image 4/10, good chest work out today)

Yeah so I let free meal turn into free day then free weekend - but really who hasn't?

Today is great, Monday always is though as I'm freshly motivated and have a plan.

WORK OUTS:

Day1:
AM- Chest (10min cardio warm up + 10min cardio to end)
PM - 30 mins walk with my dog

Day2:
AM- Lower body, lots of walking lungs, leg press, squats, leg curls, calfs
(10min warm up + 20min HIIT to end)
PM - AB work at home 15 - 20 mins

Day3:
AM - Sholders / Bi's / Tri's (Cardio 30mins)

Day 4:
AM- Lower body (20min bike or stepper)
PM - Walk Dog 20mins or squeeze in 30mins cario at gym on the way home

Day 5:
AM - Back (10 mins Row machine warm up + 20 mins cardio to end)

This looks really good to me, I'm sure I can do it there is no problem with that at all. Now about that pesky diet of mine... my motivation is renewed some what so here goes today's plan.

M1: 1/2 cup oats & Protein shake
M2: Protein Shake & Apple
M3: Egg white, Chicken,Mushroom omlette. With side of small sweet potatoe
M4: Same as M3 but with 1 cup green veg steamed
M5: Chicken and green veg
M6: Protien shake and water melon.

APPROX CALS: 1530

2006-03-29T16:17:00.000+12:00

Would ya believe it?

So this morning I weighed myself again - and yip I was down again - 73.3kg looks like this is the kick in the pants I needed. At this rate I'll be at my goal in about 2-3 weeks ha ha ha yeah right I wish. But it does go to show how good it is to get right back on the wagon! As for my body image I'm sitting at about a 5/10, drinking lot's of water, calorie intake is sitting at about 1700 (all good), oh and NO CANDY! Yippy

Workout was good general legs - Walking lunges with mid and heavy weights 4 sets of 26 reps ouch love it!, Leg Extentions, 100 squats with weights (split into 4 set of 25), Ham string leg curl (4 sets). As a warm up I did a solid 20min run on the treadmill.

The weather is beautiful today - hot and sunny, but I know it's the 'Last of the golden weather' as winter is coming. I may take my dog for a jog whenI get home (not very commited at this stage).

To beat my early evening problem eating when I get home from work this week, I have been cooking our evening meal as soon as I get home - that way I'm sticking to plan and eating only when I'm hungry and at the right time. This also means I have 2-3 hours for my meal to digest if we are done eating by 7pm before going to bed between 9.30 and 10pm. I'm feeling positive about this, and my digestion in general is great!

LIPO - 6 is still making for good work outs. I really believe it's a good product for me, and had I not been naughty over my 'surprise' weekend away I would have some great results.

2006-03-28T09:47:00.000+12:00

2kgs in 1 day....
(TODAY: 74kg, NO candy, 3lts H2o, Body image rating 4/10, predicted total cals 1,600 or less, well planned out day of eating)

Well it just goes to show what getting back on plan will do - lots of water to re-hydrate and flush out all the bad stuff and cardio + weights are fantastic. Just gotta keep at it! I tell you, it was a mental challenge just getting ove the fact that I'd let myself down so badly. Had a great 20min cardio & really pushed my weights: Shoulders and Bi's today.

2006-03-27T13:55:00.000+12:00

(TODAY: 76kg, NO candy, 3lts H2o, Body image rating 2/10, predicted total cals 1,600 or less, well planned out day of eating)

2006-03-27T13:43:00.000+12:00

Don't wanna post anything!

I'm having my own pitty party yet again! I shouldn't but things went from great to wonderful to opps I let wonderful get out of control.

SO as per the posts before life was good, eating and working out on track to droping some fat. Personal life great too - and the Carl kicked it up a notch by organising a day off from work with my boss as a surprise. I got up on Friday as normal - had a good work out then Carl told me I was not going to work and I was to pack an over night bag, then he whisked me away to the Bay of Islands (about 3 hours North of where we live) for a weekend break. He's so sweet and nice.

The problem you ask? Well I eat so much candy, and we ate out each meal we were away and I didn't have a chance to plan meals etc so I really fell off the wagon. When we got back I still ate badly and now I'm paying for it with ... wait for it... 3 kilo's (6.6 pounds or so) ouch! I'm telling myself it's water retention etc and I'll be back to normal by the end of the weekend when I get back on plan and drink all my water and work out (extra cardio). I couldn't believe how badly I'd done! I've never slipped up this bad. My body even feels bad, bloated and soft, I see every gram of extra weight. I don't even feel like me. I'm cleansing my system out now! I"LL FIX THIS

Think I've learnt my lesson.

It was such a great surprise from Carl, he put in a lot of effort to keep it a surprise. Trust me to turn a cool thing into a time of self sabotage.

OK pitty party over - time to work it off and get back to the real me!

2006-03-23T11:06:00.000+12:00

Wow I did good yesterday - will be doing the say again today!
(TODAY: 72.5kg, NO candy, 3lts H2o, Body image rating 5/10, predicted total cals 1,600 or less, well planned out day of eating)

(How's that for a positive title?)

YESTERDAY:
Ran out of time during work out but got 10mins bike cardio and good sholders workout. After work I made up for lack of morning cardio and knocked out 10 mins on the stepper, 25 mins on the Treadmill (hard out) and 5mins on the rower. I felt great. the best bit about getting a work out in, in the evening is that I'm not at home around food during my BINGE ALERT time (5.30pm - 7.30pm) I tend to sit and chill out after work and eat. SO by being at the gym, training I am not only stoping the temptation but working off more fat at the same time. The only thing that stops me from doing this all the time is that Carl thinks I over train and spend too much time at the gym (sort of true, sort of not when you look at my goals and how much I love working out). To get around it I will swim one evening, take the dog for a jog and maybe fit in 1-2 gym sessions all going well, at the same time I have to listen to my body to make sure I'm not over doing it and still be home early so carl and I can have time together too.

TODAY: Bit slack on getting to gym on time. Cardio 25mins on treadmill - good going! Did my cardio based Lower Body work out:
Lunges - 24reps x 4 sets increasing weights, Quads, Ham Curls, Calf raises, and Ab's

LIPO 6 Liquid capsuals report: Week 1 over here are the main points:

Still really getting a kick out of this product - cardio workouts are harder and faster with more motivation,
The product certainly wakes me up too, no 3-4 mins walking to warm up on T/Mill needed.
I am a bit hyped when taking them,
Drinking alot good for h2o intake
No real appatite suppression here (I'm a bad snacker anyhow), I will be following my diet better to make the most of these.
I am also sweating alot during workouts (THERMOGENICS to the max).

The product is supposed to work off problem area fat for womens ie legs, buns, thighs and belly. This will only be measurable with clothing, and photos - I will need to do the full course to give it a fair go.

Life is pretty good at home, Carl is still being nice (just normal, not over the top). I'm being nice back too!

2006-03-20T10:38:00.000+12:00

I love george
(72.3kg (and dropping), NO candy, 3lts H2o, Body image rating 5/10, predicted total cals 1,600 or less, well planned out day of eating)

My George Foreman grill that is! Ha ha he he

I asked my mum for a GF Grill last year for my birthday and I used it a total of once! I tried to be creative and flavoured up the Chicken I was cooking and it didn't turn out too good - it looked bad and tasted funny! So I cleaned up and there it stayed in the kitchen draw, until last night. I was whipping up a quick lite meal for Carl and I Chicken, Green beans and ready made hash browns for him - but I figured that I'd be using the non-stick fry pan, a pot for the beans and the oven for the 2 hash browns... there's got to be a better way I thought to myself and yes there it was the GFG! A friend of mine used hers for chicken at her place in the afternoon and it was yummy so I gave it a go. And it was fantastic and quick - I'm converted. I think the funy taste was the coating on it when it was new - I'd cleaned it before use but not well enough!

Still loving my LIP 6 liquid capsuals they rock - my work outs (esp. cardio) are so good I am really mentally all there and working my butt off - that's the idea!

Love my Boyfriend too, he's so nice and really hot (just had the throw that in for good measure), but joking aside things are really going well for us. We went to a family birthday in the weekend and the both of us got hit up by his family about how long we've been together (3 years in July) and if we were planning on getting married (not right now, happy as we are) goodness me. But we joked around about it and the best bit is there's no pressure from him or I, nor did he feel odd about the question being brought up - we know I'm not ready and he's just got he paper work through on his divorce so what's the hurry, I should have said that at the party - that would have been funny.

Great work out this morning - but not enough time (Back and Bi's toaday with 20min interval cardio on treadmill).

2006-03-17T14:48:00.000+13:00

2nd post for the day & I'm on FIRE!

Wow ok so I've taken my 2nd dose of Lipo 6 for the day and it's sooo fun, I'm in a good mood, lots of energy, and not wanting to binge - I've got an attitude and it's positive! I think I may be on to a winner here ROCK ON I say. After all it is the 1# thermogenic product on Bodybuilding.com!

Also have had my nails re-done, they are nice once again.

2006-03-17T09:35:00.000+13:00

PUMPED BABY!

(72.6kg, NO candy, 3lts H2o, Body image rating 5/10, predicted total cals 1,600)

Hard a great work out this morning Energy to burn (more about that below)

Cardio based session for legs = 20min Treadmill 'Ladders' 1 min low, 1min med, 1min high, 1min Extra High intensity! Repeat 5 times (added incline of 4 for the last ladder).

Stationary Lunges with weights 48 reps broken into 4 sets,
Walking Lunges 24 steps (reps) x 4set,

Cardio hard out 5mins on bike

High Box step ups with Moderate weights in each had 4 set of 12 reps
Dumb Bell Squats 4 set of 12 reps Mod weights

Cardio Stepper high setting 5min

Calf raise Med to High weights 12 reps / 10 reps / 8 reps / 8 reps
Abs on swiss ball and floor total of 5 x 12 reps

Cardio Run to Sprint on T/mill 5mins

So I think I mentioned that I purchased some energy / thermogenics pills over the net on Wednesday?... Well I did and they arrive the very next day so I started them and boy oh boy do I like them! Lipo 6. Specially for womens problem areas etc, and boy do they pack a boost of energy I was like a mad woman with my cardio today and had I not run out of time and needed to be at work for a meeting at 9am I might still be at the gym now. I will log how they make me feel and the effects as I progress - but weather it was mental or they really worked I had a great work out and feel very positive about the product.

Today is going to be great! Plan on getting my nails done again too. They are long and typing is hard plus they look very ratty cause they are growing out.

2006-03-16T08:57:00.000+13:00

Feeling positive ... I think?
(73.6kg, NO candy, 2.5lts H2o, 20min cardio bike, Sholders and ABs, Body image rating 4.5/10, predicted total cals 1,600)

My results from yesterday -

Cal. intake to target.

It's only 9am on thursday for me - so I'm getting slightly ahead of myself by listing some of that stuff up in the heading. But the weight is correct .. ahhhg up 100grams! Yes I've already drunk alot of H2o (good start).

Went swimming yesterday after work at the pool my gym has, every little bit helps, then I took a nap on the sun bed and meet Carl to do the weekly shopping. I stayed strong and brought NO JUNK! I will head to the fruit & Veg store today and the Meat shop so I can buy bulk Chicken breasts.

Well work is calling. Thanks for the positive comments people posted yesterday. It means alot, your understanding helps no end.

2006-03-15T15:30:00.000+13:00

Boring, Bad & Bitchy
(73.5kg, 8 pieces of candy, 3lts H2o, 20min cardio, LBWO, Body image rating 4.5/10, predicted total cals 1,710)

I want to look like this again - (Feb 2006), happy tanned and 4 kilos lighter than I am now... booo hooo I'm thowing myself a pity party! And no-one but me is invited. In-fact on second thoughts, I don't even want to attend the party! I'm over it and moving on! Just call me the party pooper!

I'm so boring I really have no news that I feel is really blog worthy - and that's where the bad comes in... well sort of, I've been bad at blogging in general. But I'll make the effort. Bitchy well TOM that explains it all really....? Bitchy and lazy at work really and over eating Ahhhh hate it!

Since coming back from Holiday I have just been content to plod along at work and home. Carl has been super wonderful, he even put in the extra effort over the weekend to build big new steps from our deck, they look fantastic so life is good at home.

I'm fighting the food fight now! for 3 weeks I've been starting over and over and over and each time I lose focus and in the afternoon eat something I shouldn't - some candy, 1 pack of rice crackers to myself, handfulls of dried fruit, just over eating in general mainly healthy but too much. I have gained 4 kilos so not happy! My work outs are still good - yeah at least one thing is going right. And I've ordered new supplements to boost my butt along, and am upping my cardio, also keeping food journal with all the good and the bad being listed. For the next while I will list my weight, and anything else I want to confess on my blog. If I have to type it then the shame of my 'Blends' reading it might be enough motivation to break my relaxed mind frame and clean up my act.

Had a good lower Body work out his morning, with interval training on the Treadmil, I think I will be sore tomorrow!

Good stuff to look forward to: It's 'Hump Day' (Wednesday) in NZ so the weekend is close, I got paid so will fill the house with healthy foods, can have fake nails re-done, swimming tonight after work, sunbed appt after swimming.

Bad stuff coming up: End of daylight savings this weekend, will need to pay off credit card so cash flow is tight this month and next.

If that's all the bad stuff for now - then life is pretty good I say.

2006-03-06T11:46:00.000+13:00

Holiday Pictures....

Carl and I with Sydney Harbour in the background

Me, on darling Harbour Foot Over Bridge.

I'm stroking a shark (a baby shark)

Went to Movie World theme park - went on all the rides and had a great day. Behind us you can see the 'Superman' is one crazy ride!

Getting up close and personal with the locals.

I couldn't believe how close you could get, they let you pat them as if they were a pet dog or cat.

Out on the town in Sydney with a friend of ours.

I loved Australia so much, we really are contemplating moving there. Mayby in a years time. What a year I'm in for if that is true. We will come up with a 1 year plan including saving money, doing up the house so it is ready to be rented out, my training and dieting to compete still a strong focus, and finding jobs - that's not something I want to think about as I love mine so much!

2006-03-01T09:23:00.000+13:00

I'm back!

Had a great holiday and work was far from intrusive there. I didn't bring my cable to download my holiday pictures (silly me) so will up date with pics asap! I can't believe how cold it is being back home in NZ. We loved being there - lots of shopping, went to the beach, saw a wild life park and went of roller coasters at movie world. It was great but not long enough - the only thing I missed was my gym, but we walked sooo much and it was so hot that in the end I only lost a bit of fitness and gained mayby 1kg at the most. I ate pretty well, but let myself have treats - life is after all, for living and I was on holiday!

More to come once I sort out my pics. I'm going to catch up on everyone blogs now.

2006-02-15T12:53:00.000+13:00

I got a divorce for Valentines day!
And I couldn't be happier, got home and Carl handed me a Card, inside was his finalised paperwork for his divorce from his ex! Last year I hit the roof regarding him still not getting a divorce and finally it's been sorted. Best V'day gift ever! Now I can consider us moving on together in our own lives with just a little less baggage. Happy happy happy - now back to the Board Meeting I'm supposed to be in now!

x

2006-02-14T13:07:00.000+13:00

Happy Valentines Day!

Firstly - I didn't get anything gift wise this morning from Carl but we did say that as we were going to Australia at the end of the week there was no point in getting wastefull v'day stuff when we can treat ourselves on holiday! He did however have my oatmeal soaking in hot water how I like it and coffee brewing for me when I got in this morning from the Gym. I really don't need teddy bears or trinkets when he does things like this for me. What did he get? - I big wet sloppy hug when he kissed me good bye on the way to work... I was still in the shower!

Tonight I will cook him a nice dinner (and I'll have tuna bake), and mayby slip into something less comfortable than my usual shorts or PJ's.

I've been writing in my food journal and keeping track of the calories I'm eating - I'm being very strict and consistant and on Saturdays' weigh in I was down to 68.5 Kg (150.70lb). Very happy with that as my arms are shaping up and I feel good about how I'm doing.

Gym stuff: I have been loving the treadmill these last few day's also, managing to find that inner voice that pushes out that last interval harder and faster than the rest. I had such a great back work out on Sunday that today Tuesday it is still sore (good sore) I know I focused on my form more than ever before and I'm proud. So today was HARD FAST Interval training cardio / Ab's / Calves / incline cardio. I earn't my favourite meal of the day (Plain Oatmeal with an icy frozen protien shake) Yummy.

My down-fall is still the weekends: With no focus work time and too much free time I slip up into eating bigger portions, not bad food and in reality still in lines with BFL (if not my plan).

Money money money - tomorrow is pay day finally, I over spent while working in the city, along with paying for internal air tickets in Australia... and that means the cash has run out! In saying that I still managed to buy eggs, tuna, protein powder and rice cakes in the weekend along with petrol for my car and have my nails back-filled .... What? I know, I know but self maintanence is aditictive! Like going to the gym, BFL, shaving / Waxing and so on. I love having long nails. It's one more step closer to actually competing (WTF??? I know I'm mad mad mad, but I love that sort of stuff).

Work is busy for me - I have a Board meeting (2 days) and then off to Australia - this means I only have this afternoon to finish up my invoicing, prep for the meetings and general tidy up of my tasks!

My nose is near back to normal now also - little scratch only now. And as said before I'm being good with my eating, including iron suppliments and eating food with iron too.

Hunger pangs suck - I get it when I come home and sit in front of the TV, so I've started cooking dinner as soon as I get home and drinking heaps of water during that time. And when it's all too much I suck on a sugar free low fat candy drop. Eating dinner earlier is great too as I then try and mentally cut myself off from eating again at all from 7.30pm - that's it NO MORE!

Things I'm looking forward to:

Dinner with Carl tonight
Getting paid
Working out (Chest day tomorrow)
Breakfast tomorrow
Australian Beaches
Tanning / swimming /site seeing / fun parks
Spending Quality time with Carl
Shopping (want new dress, work out clothes, Duty Free)

Things I'm NOT looking forward to:

My ears poping on the plane.
Sitting with no leg room
My Board Meeting
fixing loose ends at work before I go.
Having to fight the erge to over endulge
Missing regular work outs

General Feeling: rating 7/10 Happy, but busy, have work to get over before I get my reward. (but isn't that life?)

Body rating: 6/10 ok (love myself but so much work to be done) just getting over TOM blot as of yesterday and my skin has a few spots, my hair needs a cut and style too. Will apply fake tan tonight to give myself a boost and also straighten hair really well to improve it.

Feeling the love and hugs this valentines day - life is good. x

2006-02-10T11:14:00.000+13:00

TRY THIS LINK.

Oh my gosh this is so cool, you have to link to this site - you up load a picture of yourself and it scans the face and matches it to celebrities you most looked like.

http://www.myheritage.com/FP/Company/face_recognition.php?s=1&u=g0&lang=EN&restore&category=1

2006-02-07T14:01:00.000+13:00

LET THIS BE A LESSON!

Yesterday at 3.30am Carl went to work, shortly there after nature called and I got up and went to the bathroom, I was not feeling well as I stumbled into the toilet, I sat down and fainted! When I came too I was lying on the ground and feeling really bad. I sat back up and rested my head on the toilet roll holder and only then I noticed I was bleeding, I'd hit my head pretty hard and landed on my face. I have a cut on my nose and two small scraps on my head.

Still not feeling good I made my way to the kitchen to get a glass of water and stumbled to the bedroom - I turned on the lights but everything went black and I couldn't see - I passed out again, not sure for how long but as I came too this time the lights came back into focus like a movie. I was really freaked out. Even though it's the middle of summer I lay in bed freezing (going in and out of shock).

I woke up again at about 9am (although my sleep was broken and restless) I went about my day but had no intention of going to the gym as my face and neck were in pain. Carl called me at 11am and I told him about it. You can bet he was pissed that I didn't call him when it happend he was all like "I'm coming home now... how did you let yourself get like this... rant ... worry" told him I was ok now and not to rush home. Although his concern did not fall on deaf ears, and I'm glad he cares about me.

I'm guessing it's a combination of being mentally rundown, low blood pressure and lack of iron mixed with pushing myself very hard to make up for the time I've been away from home living and working in the city for the past week.

I put on 4 kgs becuase I was stuck in a hotel with a bad gym and only ran in the mornings, I worked 8am - 6pm and had to socialise with my clients every night so although I made good choices I let my gaurd down and ate more and even had some candy and high carb food. When I realised the damage I'd done I hit the gym hard for 3 days and dieted hard only to hit the wall and faint. I do however only have 1 kg to work off now as the weight gain was only really water weight to begin with!

So let that be a lesson to ME and anyone else silly who freaks out.

Picture: taken this morning, wound cleaned up, doesn't look so bad but people at work keep asking about it! It could have been so much worse - but the bruising is really showing up this afternoon!

Needless to say I shot down to the store and got a good quality multi-vitamin with lot's of iron, had steak for dinner and got myself to bed early!

I've never fainted before and don't plan on doing it again. Back to the strong and steady pace of training and nutrition.

I did however have a successfull work at work and feel like I put my all into my job organizing my EXPO.

Have missed reading everyone's blogs over the week! but am planning on catching up with everyone today.

2006-01-25T12:23:00.000+13:00

All the lights were out:

Got up at 4.30am - was at the gym at opening time 5.30am and blow me down ... they weren't open, we have had unseasonal storms the last 2 days and this ment that there was a power cut at my gym, so they couldn't open. My plan for the day ... ruined - it's ok I will go after work.

So with my extra time this morning I got ready, had yummy breakfast (same as always Protein Shake and plain oatmeal), cooked a chicken breast for lunch, and went off to work - I was there right on 7am so had a wonderful 1 & 1/2 hours of quite time, boy oh boy did I get alot done. I'm looking forward to a hard afternoon work out! Can't wait to blog how hard I worked out!

Things are geting better each day at home - Carl is being thoughtfull and I am being less of a b*tch. He he he

Yummy way to have your shake

I love ice cream, but alas it's now not something I eat - even low fat low sugar is too processed and high in calories. BUT I have the solution. It's not a new idea but it works for me, because it still feels like I'm having desert and can happily serve up full fat (yucky) ice cream to guests without the fear of dipping in to it for a 'taste' (10 spoonfulls later).

Mix:
Protein powder
1/3 - 1/2 cup water (or low fat milk)
6- 10 average size ice cubes (could add frozen berries too if you want)

in a high powered blender until ice crushed like a slushy or thick shake - yummy!

Advice when I first started out:

10 FITNESS SOLUTIONS: Do these and you won't fail.

1. Involve family and friends in your plan Don't underestimate the power of physical and emotional support. The more help you can manage the better your chances of success.

2. Container it Plan for the inevitable. If good food isn't available, bring some of your own. This step involves shopping and preparing ahead of time. Get organised and stop making excuses. Only shop in the 'outside' of the supermarket, avoid the isles. (less procesed)

3. No condiment calories Eliminate ALL add-on calories like butter, sugar, mayo etc. These can add upfast and completely sabotage an otherwise solid approach.

4. Water only Drink nothing with calories. It's not unusual for an average person to consume 1000 calories per day here. Switch to water or diet drinks. Make it your goal to drink 4-6 750ml pump bottles of water EVERY day (remember water suppresses hunger).

5. Never get hungry Don't allow hunger to overwhelm, munch on something healthy before you throw all caution to the wind. A stitch in time saves... eat every 3 hours to avoid your blood sugar level dropping ie. when it does you crave carbohydrates and sugar.

6. Almost every day Workout in small doses, for a few minutes, as much as you can. Consistency and adequate intensity will get great results. Walk, weight train, wash the car, power walk on the beach... find an activity you enjoy and commit to it everyday.

7. Stop making excuses I don't have enough time, I'm too busy, are just two of the excuses we hear every day. Make yourself accountable to YOURSELF and stop with all the drama - at the end of the day you need to learn to take responsibility for your own health. Stop being lazy and get active. Schedule time for exercise and make it a priority only then do you really feel good aboutyourself and your health.

8. A task worth doing Make sure you're training according to established protocol. Be safe and avoid a sidelining injury. Start with a warm up and always use good form.Complete your training with stretches after your cardio or weights.

9. Curb your enthusiasm Most beginners tend to break into a full sprint right out of the box. Don't overdo early on, save some for later. Results will follow. You're not going to achieve the same results as someone who has been training 5-10 years. Be realistic, it takes time but if you aren't consistent then it is not going to work. Consistency is the key to your success.

10. Have a back up plan Develop a shortcut-routine that you can squeeze in anytime. Besides the physical benefits, it's important to keep momentum going. If you only get to the gym once that week (instead of your usual 3-5 times) then do an all over body workout. Doing some kind of workout is better than doing nothing at all.

2006-01-24T09:35:00.000+13:00

Busy but happy.

Had one of those weekends where everything pissed me off and it lead to me questioning why I was with Carl at all - I'm sure everyone goes through this at times.

We really had it out, so things are clear at home and progressing back to normality (i'm the one who needs time). It turns out that I really resent him having a child! Already knew that. It's a bit problem for me, I feel like I've been ripped off. But if I want to be with him then thats life. The thing that makes it worse is that his son is such a good kid really - just your typical 10 year old. I have alot of growing up to do! And I hate the Ex wife. Tried to get over it,but she's a drop kick!

One other problem is communication - I really could care less how long Carl goes out or what he does, so long as I know the time frame and can plan things that I want to do (Controlling) this he needs to work on, I just need to be informed. Ahhhhh.

Ok ok enough of that - these things take time and are not always as easy or black and white as I want them to be!

Weight loss is sloooow and a bit up and down I even dropped to 67.8 on Saturday only to bounce back to 69.0 on Sunday and today. I think I've over estimated the weight loss, coupled with fat loss and muscle gain! I will keep at it. It's a water retention, nutrition thing, I'm sure it will become clear - I'm not worried and know there are a combination of things in play when it comes to scale weight.

Diet truth be told I over eat on Friday night (only healthy - extra protein bar and rice cakes) so I couldn't understand the weight drop on Saturday adn weight gain on Sunday when I'd eaten to plan on Saturday. Still on track scales mean nothing in the grand scheme of things - esp. when I am building muscle - that said there are still kilos that need to come off to even be in with a chance to compete.

Australia planing is going well, tickets booked and paid for, have a car arranged from a friend so no rental charge. Just wanting for Carls passport to come through and to book internal flights. I want this trip to be the tell all, I'm hoping for more spark in the relationship.

You know you have lost weight when the Check-out lady in the Super Market comments! How cool is that, it's not like I go to her every day, but she even said she wasn't sure if I was the same girl. That was a boost fo rsure.

Work is so busy - best get back to it!

2006-01-19T15:24:00.000+13:00

AUSTRALIA HERE I COME!

Lucky old me, work is flying me over to research an event in February and I have decided to extend my time away to make the most of a free trip and have a holiday with Carl (our first time overseas together) I can't wait it'll be great, I'm really excited and have been planing my butt off, and pissing Carl off a bit as I tend to over plan, but to have everything planned my way before we go is the only way I'll ever relax and enjoy my time away.

Departure: We fly out on Friday 17 Feb to Sydney stay there for 3 nights (Accom paid for by work).

Work: Only have to work for 2 days, researching the event - will be able to shop and see sites at same time.

Internal flight: Fly ($86pp) to the Gold Coast on Monday 20th Feb (afternoon) and stay with Carls nice step sister (free). Sun bathing by the pool! May go to the beach.

Activities: While there we will hire a car for 3 days ($75 each) and visit 3 theme parks - unlimited pass ($174 each) Movie world, Wet and Wild & Sea World). Some shoping and exploring, and of-course go to the beach!

Home: On Friday 24th Feb we will fly back to Sydney then home to Auckland (arriving at 11.50pm - must squeeze as much in as we can).

I've planned on us each having $50 per day as spending money food, fuel etc. Hopefully we may be able to borrow a friends car so that will bring costs down somewhat! I work out that it will cost me about $800.00 all up for 7 days away in Sunny Australia! Beautiful.

Workouts: Great - did excellent 20min hard Cardio on Treadmill - love it! And went right in to a good solid Back/Bi's/Tri's session.

Diet: is good, I sliced up chicken breast this morning before work and cooked it as I was drying my hair, stacking the dishwasher and loading the laundry. Nothing beats the feeling of getting house work done before going off to work. (m1) Oatmeal and Shake (m2) Shake and Jerky (m3) 1/2 Chicken breast & steamed veg (m4) cherries 1/2 chicken breast ... (m5/6) still to come.

Ok best get back to it!

2006-01-17T11:45:00.000+13:00

Quick Update

Workouts - going well same old problem of not getting to gym early enough. Am doing extra cardio during the day at lunch time or after work. Good chest work out this morning, rushed thru shoulders somewhat though.

Work: Happy mood, achieving alot, generally good. Looks like I'm going to Australia for 4 -5 days in February, for work, will be nice as I can take a few days to relax also.

Diet: TOM is no excuse but once again I let my portions increase. But back on track now. Infact going stronger than before - more resolution to follow planned meals!

Home life good, I'm making more of an effort and it's paying off with a happy BF.

Supplements: Am using new course of fat burners, started today, spoke with an got adivse from girl who is very high up in competing in NZ and she said these products will be good - I'll track my progess and see if it works for me!

Gym Life: Got hit on on Saturday, nice guy but shy nervous... and of-course I'm so not on the market anyhow. Sunday one of the PT's introduced himself and said that some of his clients wanted to know what I'm doing for my legs, wow folks are looking at me and my programme... told him lots of squats, lunges (walking and static), leg presses. All that good stuff that is very hard work.

Those two things made me feel pretty darn good seeings as I was goin thru TOM!

OK end of up-date off to gym? 20mins bike session I think, and evening walk with dog after work.

2006-01-13T14:25:00.000+13:00

FYI Goal weight loss for week one: .75 of a kg (1.65lb)
Started wk 1 at 69.1 (152.02lb)
End wk 1 at 68.35kg (150.37lb)

Last year I was aiming for 1.5kgs per week and cause I was bigger I could do it, had to re-evaluate now. Also taking pics to gage progress and will accept times my loss is slow as I am still trying to gain lean mass!

2006-01-13T13:31:00.000+13:00

Friday 13th ...

Well as 'Black Friday' goes, I'm having a great one. Got in a strong work-out in the gym (Chest and Sholders) although I was not able to push thru any harder or heavier than last time, I pushed to the extent my body could go. Woke up late (*more on that in a moment) so only did 10mins cardio for warm up. I've got my gym gear here at work and will get dressed and head to the gym for 20-30mins cardio session before heading home.

YesterdayI said that I was going to hit the track - that did not happen as my co-worker decided to go out to lunch for sushi (Yummy) I stayed strong, but instead went to the gym and pushed out a hard and fast 20min cardio on the bike. Rewarded and enjoyed my "planned Lunch" enjoying it all the more for not giving in and going out for lunch (which would have lead to over eating and no extra cardio!) - It's winning all the small battles that win the war.

My partner has a son (10yr, good kid, we get on) but I don't really like playing Mum and am far from nurturing! Anyhow, I really hate when my routine is changed, this is happening alot due to the kiddo's Mum being unreliable ans generally inconsiderate! Anyhow driving home last night I was text that the kiddo + friend were staying over night with us (fine, I was a little put out as this was not pre-planned and now means I have to cook another meal to cater for kids too). Managed to get over that, no biggy! They loved the meal, we had a good evening.

*My problem comes when I go to bed at 9.30pm (kids are on school holidays) and the Boys stay up to watch a movie - I can hear it word for word in the Lounge but after 30mins or so start to drift off... oh no not that lucky, kiddo and friend now go to bed room to watch movie in bedroom, furniture that should have been moved earlier to alow friend to stay over is now being dragged and bumped around by the boys! Dear oh Dear I'm not happy but leave it be when the noise stops. But still no luck as they keep the light on - it shows under my door, (not normally a problem but I'm getting pissed off now) at 10.30pm I go in and switch the light off no words said (just grumpy face to say it all) and go back to bed - to finally sleep. This kind of thing annoys me no end - inconsiderate people and being mucked about! So this morning at 5am I got up like normal and turned on lots of lights and made lots of noise (heard growns and moans - Ha ha ha) and when I came back at 7am to get ready for work I did the same (more growns and moans). I sound childish when I read this back- but I'm a firm believer that you are only due the respect you give out! These things will be discussed tonight - NO friends over unless room totally clean and ready before hand. Consideration is a must, I'm mostly relaxed and more than happy to have kiddo in my life (got to if I'm with his father), but after 2 1/2 years of letting the small stuff go I'm throwing in punishment type outcomes. As it is I seem to do more of the day to day decipline (giving the kid guidlines such as manners at meal times you know) the big bad telling off is not me! (It should never be as he is not mine!).

Sorry blah blah blah, not sure why I think this is a valid blog topic but. Now it's all said and done, I'll move on, it's Friday and we are driving down to a party tomorrow afternoon, (2hours each way) and back home, that will be fun I hope, and I love my gym work outs in the weekend - less people, more time!

My diet has been really good this week - must confess that today I went and had coffee (black for me) with the girls at work and missed meal two (naughty) but other than that I'm happily on track. Meal 3 Chicken and salad. Meal 4 Jerky, 100gms Cherries and 80 gms of extra chicken... 5 and 6? Protien and Veg, and a Frozen 'Blitz' Shake to round it off.

'Blitz' Shake is just Protien Powder, handfull of ice and 1/2 water in my blender till light and airy and smooth. Almost like icecream, and filling (for about 15 mis due to the air in it!) .

Feeling: Happy with my progress today on the scale I hit 68.8 (that's 151. 36lb - as did I did yesterday) so it looks like I could with a push nearly make my goal for this week, esp. with Sat & Sun work-outs. Gotta stay strong on the eating front, party and boring car travel can lead to over eating - must bring 1 x protien bar, Cooked Chicken breast, Jerky, veg sticks like cerley and carrots, and small fruit 1 or 2 plums. See I got it covered + water bottle and sugar free soda for at the party.

GOOD PLAN! GO TEAM ! GO!

2006-01-12T08:46:00.000+13:00

What an effort to walk up the stairs to my office!

But I'm not complaining! Leg / Lower Body work out today and boy oh boy did I go heavy! I exceeded all of my weights and still managed to keep up a respectable amount of reps and sets.

Leg Press x 4 sets
Quad Ext x 4 sets

Glute Kick back x 3 sets
Glute Press x 3 sets (to failure last set)

Ham lying curl x 4 sets
Ham Ext x 4 sets

Calf press x 3 sets (to failure last set)
Calf raise x 4 sets

Ab programme (15mins) at the end it hit to even roll up off the mat!

I am only trying out a new lower body training routine this week; I spilt up my work-outs like this:

Chest / Shoulders

Legs High Rep and cardio (inc. lunge work, step ups, box jumps and high reps on machines)

Back/Bi/Tri

Legs Heavy (lower reps, high weights, focus and control)

I'm trying this split and will see how my legs adapt I am hoping that the high rep day will compliment the heavy training. Only planing on doing this for 2 weeks and will re-evaluate whole training split. Have added 1-2 extra cardio sessions through the day * Today I'm going to the track near work at lunch to do laps and sprints if my legs will hold up. If not it'll be a nice long jog.

2006-01-11T14:05:00.000+13:00

HOW GOOD DOES YOUR LUNCH LOOK?

I don't know about everyone else but I love the way my healthy meals look!

On Todays Menu:
Steamed Mixed Veg (Love those pre packed steamer bags)
150gm Chicken

Workout/s:Back/Bi's/Tri's
Ran out of time this morning to do Bi's so returned to the gym at lunch time - got 20mins cardio (bike) and 20mins Bi's.

General well-being and mind state:
Feeling great, workouts are great, diet is great, personal relationship?... it's ok, don't get me wrong just there's not as much bang in the bedroom anymore and last night Carl blamed it on my training "It all went down hill when you started going hard-out at the gym" . Is this common? I mean I don't have as much pent up energy anymore and getting to bed TO SLEEP on time is very important to me. I don't think that I should just 'go thru the motions' either. I used to have quite a high sex drive but I think I'm moving into the slow lane where that is concerned. Not really worried though. I'm happy right now.

2006-01-09T12:42:00.000+13:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I had a great New Years Eve - about 25 of us celebrated at a friends farm house, lots of food and drink - YES I got drunk. Had fun, but in the morning I remembered why I'm happy with my lifestyle and the restraints I've put on my drinking habits of old. We then had 3 day wonderful camping days at the beach.

Picture of Carl and I - probably at about 1am New Years Day. I don't think I lasted much past that. Still I'm smiling so all is good.

New Year, new beginings...
Today is offically (like so many people) day 1 for my strick training and dieting. So far so good.

Training:
10min cardio warm up (Stepper), 1hour Chest/Shoulder work out, finished off my 20min cardio (treadmill) . Will fit in a jog after work too.

I did a killer leg session on Sunday too - am feeling it today (love it when I change it up a notch).

Diet:
Shake (120 cal), 1/2 pro bar with Shake (220), Lunch: Chick with steamed veg (300).... more to come.

Numbers game:
I know it's not about the numbers, but I am still over weight, and it is a good tool to stay accountable and use as a guide over times like the holidays. I found that if I was up a bit I'd lay off the food and balance everything out again. Offically after my work out this morning I am 69.1Kg (less than just before Christmas).

Goals for the Year 2006:
Well of-course I have many fitness goals and diet etc, but I want to include lifestyle goals, aims and changes I think I need to address. I have a great feeling about 2006, bring it on!

Working out goals

Continue attending the gym consistantly:Once again I intend to go to the gym as oftern as I can - I usually work out once a day 7days a week, but in saying that if I go away for the weekend I don't give myself a hard time.
Put more time into planing workouts: I have back up plans and know how each session will go, but I want to really outline and plan this year.
Give 100% effort working out (life in general too):There is no point in just going through the motion, I know what I want to look like, and every effort I put in is 1 step closer. Focus, tecnique, progress!

Diet Goals

5-6 small meals: a day all containing high qual protein, and small amount of good carbs during meals 1,2,3. Every 2-3 hours.
Drink Water: Lots and lots minimum of 3 lts, which broken down is only 4 x 750ml bottles (easy). Not including shakes and coffee. Reduce number of sugar free sodas!
Plan and record: Plan all meals and have options avaliable so as not to break with plan. record intack, so i can see what is working and what I need to 'tweek'

Work Goals:

Organise and simplify: Sort through and file all old work, keep work space clutter free and managable.
Plan and document: Plan all actions, and work with deadlines.
Relax: Keep a clear head, be calm, be positive! by achieving 1 & 2 I will be un-stoppable.

Home/Personal Life:

Organise and simplify: throw out old clothes - wash and give to charity if good condition, sort pictures and junk, sort out all gym gear and work out clothes.
Consistantly clean and do busy work: This will keep my home clean, organised, and have a good feeling. Carl will be happier if we live in a clean clutter free environment. Fantastic side effects: Happy Boyfriend, and my mind off eating!
Be more considerate of others: Understand Carls feelings, be thankfull of everything he does and what he brings to our relationship in possitives not baggage from other relationships.
Find interesting ways to spend time together: Use the time we have together to do activites and go places of interest to us both. (harder said than done, as I hate car racing!)
Be more loving, spicy, and sexual: (enough said)

Dollars and cents....

Pay off $1,000 visa debt (by June) add $1,000 onto visa so in credit! (By end of year)
save $2,000 by Dec 2006
Pay off car load approx $3,000
Have account in the black at the end of each month (usually dip into an over draft just before pay day each month). This to be achieved by July!

Short term Goal

lose .75 kgs per week end goal of 12 weeks (60kg)

Major Goal

Compete in figure competition

Thats all for now - I'm goaled out for now!

2005-12-29T15:02:00.000+13:00

SEASONS GREETINGS!

Wow it's been a busy time and sadly I'm not left with much time to blog at the moment, but I'll be back stronger than ever in the new year, with I hope lots of stuff to document from Christmas and New Years.

I'm happily maintaining and only put on a whopping 600gms (approx 1 pound?) so I'm happy, with relaxed working hours I'm going to the gym at lunch time or after work. That extra sure does help reverse the Christmas dammage.

Self pampering: Had my eye lashes tinted, brows waxed, and nails applied: I'm ready for a week away camping and partying at the beach for New Years... Rock on... 1 more work day for me.

OK OK that it - off to the Mall to shop again , oh the things I've be buying sooo cool! And then to the gym - yeah !

2005-12-19T13:39:00.000+13:00

I Blame Christmas: I've not been keeping up with my BLOG!!!

Ok ok I've been slack! Work is busy, my boss has gone away for 4 weeks to England and I've been left holding together the divisions I work for. Big lesson in priorities! And I'm sick of meetings!

My diet has been average to say the least. I'm following pretty well through the week, and allowing myself treats over the weekend, still healthy options but portions that are not strict and not always clean - this has ment that I'm not lossing fat. I'm ok with this as I don't see the point in being hard on myself at this time of year. I will have 16 weeks ahead of me after New Years, that's hard enough! And I plan on drinking on New Years Eve, that will make 5 times this year!

My Knee is still playing up and holding me back some what - but I'm focusing on cardio for lower body - I know I don't need to build my legs - this could be a blessing. I did 20mins on the stepper and 30mins running and hill work on the treadmill this morning - felt really good during and afterwards.

Favourite Smell: Issy Miaki (Sp?) I have put this on my wish list for Christmas - I read about a Female Body Builder (with a build much like mine) she said it was a favourite of her's so I went out and tried it - and now I'm hooked. I tend to use frangrences as way to mark a turning point or transistion in my life ie: While Travelling, New jobs, New Year etc... this time I want to use the smell as a trigger to focus on my fitness and body shapping goals! While I'm wearing it during the day it will be constant reminder of my goals.

I don't know what to get Carl for Christmas, he is so hard to buy for and is no help what so ever at giving me ideas. Other than that things at home are ok - I say OK because I was a bit of a snarky cow on friday and he called me a Bitch and hung up on my. I was very rude and short on the phone with him, but but it was no reason to do that. We are fine, it was a tiff, we both have a tendency to get on each others nerves when we are tired, it was one of those days.

Photo: Blah progress, not really!

2005-12-12T10:03:00.000+13:00

Staff Christmas Party!
Boring piture of me after the work Christmas party! It's 11.30pm and I'm stone sober, it was a good night and there were lots of healthy choices to eat so I stuck strong! It was a nice un-eventful night, and the best part was that I got up on Saturday morning and got my butt to the gym. The beauty of not being the (Drunk) life of the party, is that you can function the next day - love it.

Carl and I did take party pills (totally herbal/caffine based) and Carl had a few drinks so all was not lost, I wasn't a party pooper. And we endded up having our own private party anyhow!

The picture to the right is some of my work mates playing Petaunque (sp?) Carl is the tall one in the middle having his turn.

We had Carl's family Christmas Lunch on Sunday - it was really nice lot's of yummy and healthy food options again! And I must say 1 or 2 naughty ones (he he- only tastes promiss). But before hand we had gift giving, each person gets a gift for 1 family member each and the limit is set up to $50.00. I got Carl so it was easy! Got him a bike helmet to go with his bike I brought him for his birthday. I got some nice gold hoop earings from his Grandfather - that I like, but are bigger than I would normally get for myself.

I'm running out of supplements and have already run out of money for this week till pay day on the 15th so I'm making do!

Lust for life and training?.... where are you?.... Although not TOM and nothing bad is going on in my life, I'm just not feeling it today, It was hard to get out of bed (I NEED LOTS OF SLEEP!)Training was average, and today at work is non focused! I'll buck up. I need inspiration and motivation, then I'll be into it.

2005-12-08T09:32:00.000+13:00

Strawberry Treat for making my goal!

When I started BFL, I weighed 105 kg OMG!!!!

With each passing week the weight dropped off and I achieved my mini goals - 96kg, 89kg, 79kg .... well today the scale finally rested on 69kgs (69.7) I have been trying to brake into the 60's for what seems like most of Spring and today - Thursday 8th December 2005 I did it!

I've been close, but I think over the last few weeks I have been making muscle gains while losing fat, that's all good and I know the scale is only a number but I also reaslised a long time ago that you need measurable goals too. And in reality, for me to ever compete I'd need to drop to 62 - 60kg (for my height) to give me a good base to diet down from.

Now this may seem funny that after reaching a goal weight, I'm treating myself with food, but I think it highlights how far I've come in my eating habits. In the past I would have commiserated not reaching a goal or putting on more weight by cheering myself up with Chips, or candy! Now I'm eating in a controlled fashion (carb portion of meal 2 for the day) strawberries only 33cals per 100gms. Yummy!

Supplements:
I'm sure my supplements are making a big difference, I'm stronger, and tighter, I have energy during adn after work-outs, I'm positive! I'm getting used to swallowing 16 pills before my morning work-out, 5 during the day and 3 before an afternoon cardio session.

Extra Cardio:
I'm doing an extra 30-40 min cardio session about 2-3 times a week in the evening. Keeps me out of the fridge, and gives me an extra burn to up my metabolisim.

Injury:
A week ago today, I bent down to put away a dumb bell and I 'tweeked' something in my knee, so I stopped running hard, and limited my leg excersises to those with low impact on my knee. I took to using the eliptical and stepper more too. This has been just the change I needed, and after many ice packs and 'Deep heat' sports cream rubs I'm pretty much back to normal. I'm going to progress with time, but I don't want to do permenant damage.

SIX Meals a day:
Gotta admit it is hard to alway fit in 6 meals, but I've been making sure I have an very early dinner and then a shake early evening to ensure I get my 6 in, it's great.

Party Party:
We have our Christmas party for work tomorrow, I'm really looking forward to it, chance to get dressed up. I don't get out much you see!

2005-12-05T09:16:00.000+13:00

I did it, and here are the results....

As I said, I took Friday off work, I didn't sleep in however as I wanted to fit in 1/2 my work out before my 9am appointment. I wanted a real change and I sure got one - I'm happy because it's different, but it's taking a while to get used to it.

Carl 'likes' it but has only ever known me as a blonde so it's taking him a while to get used to the change too. The colours will fade pretty quickly as my hair was so light before, so that's ok, and I can just add some more highlights to change things up a bit more for the end of summer.

I've been getting loads of positive comments all weekend and today at work everyone really seams to like it.

The AFTER PICTURES:

2005-12-01T09:44:00.000+13:00

Time for a change I think!

I have decided to change my hair style - it'll still be longish, but I will have it cut into a style again, I've gone through winter with very long blond borning hair no style what so ever. I'm getting long shaggy bangs I think and having alot of darker blond put through, I will still have alot of blonde highlights. I just need to up date my image. I'm taking the day off work, so I will have a long weekend too. As you can see by this picture I am not a natural blonde Ha ha ha 2 inch roots are a dead give away, don't ya think?

2 inch's of dark hair yuck! this has got to go.

BEFORE:

We shall see what happens tomorrow, I'll leave it up to my hair dresser to make the right colour choices and cut for me etc.

2005-11-29T10:03:00.000+13:00

Feeling very smart! And Healthy!

Got up at 4.20am this morning, and made lunch and dinner for today - my own creation - inspired by others: Tuna Bake

SORRY ALL MEASURES IN GRAMS AND DEG CENTIGRADE (NZ)

2 portions Spinach chopped, frozen 100 gm
1 Can Tuna in water 185 gm (drained)
1 sm onion 50 gm (chopped fine)
1 sm tomato 100 gm (sliced)
8 Egg whites

Dry fry onions till light brown, mix all together in bowl, spray non-stick coating on bakewear, transfer, bake in fan oven 200 C for 25 mins - till firm. Could cook in microwave too.

I tasted a bit when cutting it, it's kinda plain, but I'm ok with that, could add pepper or other spices - Curry? Or powdered stocks? Watch out for too much sodium!
Total bake = 420 cal (approx) 79% Protein 6% fat 15%Carbs. For BFL you could follow with fruit or rice cake to even up % of carbs.

I've split half for lunch and half for dinner. 210 cal per meal. Perfect for me.

Update from first post: Had it for lunch, really enjoyable! Plain and simple taste not over powering, I think I might put more tomato in next time...

Managed to get some house work done too before heading for my work out - I like getting up early and getting things done.

Leg work out was hard but good - based around Leg Extentions, lunges, Squats and step ups. Good 20 min cardio on the stepper too.

2005-11-28T12:23:00.000+13:00

NOT A MORNING FACE!!!!

Here are two progress pictures taken this morning - 5am I had to blur my face as it was not a pretty site at the time the picture was taken. Plus I really don't think the picture shows much (too early for photo time). The back of me is much better in the mornings! ha ha ha although I could have held my arms better. I'm feeling stronger and lifting heavier. My diet over the weekend was good, had a free meal / snacks.

Favourite Past-time:
Shopping, oh my goodness, I went shoping again this weekend, at the Outlet Mall, got alot of items and even 2 pairs of runing shoes for the gym, I was pretty happy with that. And I managed to get one or two gifts for Christmas (the real reason for going there in the first place).

Training:
I've been hiting my legs pretty hard and I think the work is paying off, as I put on some jeans that used to be tight about 2 months ago and now they are roomy. Today was Chest and Sholder day, kept things simple. Chest: Bench press / Pec Deck / Cable cross overs Shoulders: Shoulder Press / Side D.Bell raise / B.Bell Press and incorporated Abs on Swiss Ball. Did a great run (4kms) = 300cals at the end also!

Leaving for work:
This is my Dog Zed, he always looks so sad when I leave for work - there again with a face like his, he always tends to look sad. I think he's beautiful really.

2005-11-24T10:14:00.000+13:00

Lost my footing on the slipery slope - just for a day

Well in my house TOM hit me hard and I over ate, good thing was it was only clean food. A number of positives have come out of this experince.

My metabolisim may have gone up a bit
I know how bad a feel when I over eat
At least I know that I'm making healthy clean choices!

Training:

Last two days were low key work outs, Ab& Cardio on Tuesday, and Cardio / Leg work (lunges/Box Ups) / Bicept - gave myself two days to add extra cardio and work on areas I miss out on if I run out of time. Although in saying that I shouldn't run out of time!

Today was hard fast cardio (15 mins only), and I will go again this afternoon for more interval cardio on the way home (30mins at least). Worked on Chest and Shoulders - feeling stronger and lifting slightly more than a month ago.

Suppliments:

Going well, still taking everything - animal pak (11 pills in all) is hard to get through early in the morning, I'm taking this week during breakfast, but next week I will get up earlier to take them to give them a chance to go through my system.

Favourite Past time:

Still reading my new book. I know, I know! I said it was a holiday book for reading at the beach, I'm going slowly and enjoying each page, but can't help but pick it up 4-5 times during the day to read a 4-5 pages at a time. It's a good little way to break up the day. Will look for sometime else to read on holiday cause I don't see this lasting. But what?

State of the house:

Great, nice and clean still, I even went through my wardrobe and gave it a good sorting - silly me still can't throw out the clothes that are too big for me. It's not that I'm keeping them 'just incase' I get big again. It just seems like a waste, I could have them taken in, or something? (I know I won't) and I know I love buying new things in small sizes. I'm just silly!

I put up my Christmas tree yesterday, I think it's pretty cool, I don't like over the top stuff so I just did Gold and White. I've put it in the corner so's not to take over the room. I know it's early, I just got excited to put it up.

My cat just loves it, he has taken to sleeping at the bottom of the tree. Who knows why.

Favourite People:

Well Carl is still in my good books and I in his. He's enjoying my efforts in cooking and cleaning - I am enjoying it too, I need to do busy work.

Latest purchase:

The new Madonna CD - confessions on a dance floor. I'm not the biggest fan of hers, and this is in-fact the first Madonna CD I've purchased. I like the "Hung Up" song and after playing the whole CD a few times I'm liking some of the other tunes too. Think I will add some trackes to my MP3 player for tomorrows work-out, better still tonights cardio!

Had to add this picture of my silly cat 'Footy' - to me he looks like he's about to poop and is sticking his tongue at me. he he he!

In fact he is just standing up from eating and licking his face.

2005-11-21T16:08:00.000+13:00

NEW DRESS! NEW DRESS! NEW DRESS!

I'll let you in on a secret, I've been a bit of a cow to Carl (my BF) as of late - can I blame it on diet and training? Well every little thing has be bugging me and I 'had it out' with him on Friday night. I'm just experiencing frustrations.

I'm some what selfish and need time to myself, but he is opposite and so what is mostly normal behaviour and wanting to spend time together as a couple - I deam to be demanding on 'My time' . I got this out in the open and we did our own thing on saturday morning (me to the gym) and then we had lunch with friends and went shopping in the afternoon, and then on Sunday we had a whole day to do our own thing and then went to a BBQ in the early afternoon, I now feel much better and on Saturday he brought me the dress I'm wearing in the photograph to the left - yeah I'm lucky to have him I know! But what kind of lesson is that teaching me? Be a cow and get a gift? I know, I know - don't mock it, it's his way of being nice. Plus I like the dress and he thinks it looks good on me. Dark Photo, doesn't show it off very well, but it's a full button thru, shirt dress, in dark choc brown.

Training is still going strong and diet too - I've not yet mised a day of supplements and am feeling stronger than ever.

THOUGHTS:

Time of the day: I'm turning into a morning person that's for sure, I get up between 4.20am and 5am, I love the quite time, it's my oportunity to get ready for the gym, take suppliments, and do a bit of cleaning here and there. It makes me feel in control, and like I'm already ahead of the game for the day.

Food:The more I focus on eating well the more I love clean food, my favourite meal being Protien Shake and 1/2 cup oatmeal for breakfast YUMMY.

Training:Still fun, cardio is a push in the begining of the session, but at the end I can still dig it in and push myself. I have a new (new for me) Swiss Ball move for my abs, just like an ab crunch on the ball, but I only come 3/4 of the way up in a very controlled motion and I have my feet up on the wall (knees right up) - gosh it's hard work but I love it.

New kitchen product:For a while now I've wanted kitchen scales so I can weigh out my portions and have greater control. Yesterday I went to a sale and found the perfect product (50% off) yeah me! They are electronic scales and are normally $100.00.

Treating myself:Had another sunbed session this lunch time, so nice to relax.

What I'm reading: I purchased the new Candice Bushnell book 'Lipstick Jungle' it is supposed to be my 'Summer holiday reading on the beach' book and although I'm savouring every page - I sure am motoring through it at some kind of pace! If you like that whole New York - career women type book (much like her others: Sex and the City & Four Blondes) then you'll like this. Nice easy read really. I hear they are looking to making it into a TV show soon also. Best read the book before it comes on TV I say. But I must try to slow down - it is after all for holiday reading, and I'm still about a month from holidays!

2005-11-17T11:07:00.000+13:00

Gosh Thursday already!

Day 2 of taking my supplements: and all is going well - no odd side effects yet. This morning I focused on this workout being a Cardio and Ab session 40 mins mixed cardio and 25 mins ab routine. I swear that this morning on the Treadmill I could have gone for longer and harder and faster (although I was putting in a good effort) I am sure it has something to do with the supplements even if it's only in my head.

Extra Cardio: Carl had a few drinks with Friends last night so that ment I could go do an extra cardio session at the GYM Yeah cool! Carl's not happy about me working out twice a day - thinks it's over doing it, but for what I want to do it's nessessary to do extra cardio bit by bit to keep fat burning and metabolisum up as high as I can! I'm not in a good enough condition yet, I still see myself building the best starting blocks as I can.

Thin: After work out I went to meet up with Carl at our friends and I got the bestest compliment for an ex-overweight person ever - I was refered to as thin! how abou that? The conversation was about my lack of breasts now going from a D to an A/B (if lucky), and my friend said well 'that will happen when you get thin like you'. Pretty happy about that, anyhow I'm ok with my small breasts for now. But Surgury in a few years is something in the back of my mind - once, that is after I sculpt my body the way I want! And save up the cash for it!

Mind over food Re-training: Last night on the way home - Carl stopped off to the Mcd's drive through and got a take out meal for home, I went home had a protien shake and large home-made fruit salad (which we shared) and I was thinking about how it was not even a consideration that I would have any kind a fast food now! Amazing I truly feel I have re-trained myself with this issue. So why do I still feel the erge on occasion to eat over my alocated portions (even if they are authorized)? I will need to re-train myself here too.

Today: is shaping up pretty ok - work is constant but achievable, I have a sun bed session soon to break up my work day at lunch time.

2005-11-16T09:57:00.000+13:00

Pictures of progress??

Ok this is a picture from 4 weeks ago - Very dark, but gives me a strating point of sorts to look at. I'm not so happy about the lack of muscel - but all over shape is ok considering how I used to be - the only shape I was? ROUND! My clothing is looking much much better on and I am constantly finding clothing is getting too big for me - usually when I'm running late for work and had my heart set on wearing a certain item!

*note different body angle - waist looks in better shape in first pic - but I know my tone is much better in 2nd. Note to self - should be consistant in bikinis I wear in comparison shots!

This picture below was taken at about 5.20am - bad lighting once again and not the prettiest face on me at that time either. I hate having to take my own pictures with self timer I never feel ready, or know what I could do better, but I'm not ready to ask Carl to do this task yet. I'm proud of my achievements thus far but... well really I mean come on - I've only posted these as small pictures here on my blog... as I progress (which I will) the pics will be better and bigger, that's for sure.

So yesterday I purchased a whole stack of suppliments to help in my training - I'm my own product tester!

This is what my kitchen top looked like today with my pills and protien powder. The Animal pack is made up of 11 pills - 1 pack a day in the morning (see the little bag at the bottom of the picture), and I take 2 of the CCB and Xen' and 1 Trib' twice a day. I go through 1 water bottle just to down them.

I offically began the programe today - quite alot to swallow.
Even if the products only make a small difference in the end result, I believe the commitment and money spent on them will prove to be a form of motivation. I will give this my best. What do I have to loose? Only kg's now - I've already handed over my money haven't I?

I am going to monitor my feelings related to the effects of my diet, training and supplementation intake.

Supplements from Xtreme Nutrition - Albany Auckland: So friendly and helpfull, good competitive prices too!

Diet: I feel like snacking today - although I have had 2 meals already - M1 pre workout shake, M2 Breakfast Shake and 1/2 cup of oatmeal. Nearly ready for Cottage cheese and fruit soon...

Training: I was yet again running late this morning and only put in 20 mins cardio and a basic Hamstring/Butt/Calves/Abs work out. Too busy trying to fit in early morning pre-training shake, take photos and usual time wasting. Yesterday (Tuesday) I managed to fit in another trip to the gym to up my cardio: Treadmill 20mins, Rower 10min, Stepper 10mins: which really increased my calorie expenditure and will have pummped up my metabolisim some what too. I think I will just go for a walk for 30mins after work today.

Supplements: Ok this is only day one and I'm still to take my second dose for the day. But I don't have the jitters or anything, my burps did tastes of vitamins this morning and my pee has a hint of vitamin smell (yeah like anyone needs to know that).

Diet (Again): At Xtreme Nutrition I found a bar/cookie type snack and I had one yesterday - so good! And only 175 Cals - $3.50 NZ (pricy treat! So only have as a treat, when feeling rich!)

2005-11-15T13:38:00.000+13:00

Lets hit it - theres no going back!

THIS IS A PIC OF MY INSPIRATION JO STEWART -->

I am so stoked - I've just been to my nutrition store and really gone to town with all the suppliments etc I will need to really begin my journey to compwtion and transformation! $220.00 worth for approx 1 1/2 months excluding protien powder (which I have teh massive bucket 1/2 full still) and any bars I may use at moments of weakness!

Cardio:
I was lacking in motivation and my shorts were riding up my butt when I started on the treadmill this morning - this fired me up enough though to put in a hard 25mins of hill work and invertals burning over 300 cals. I will also try to add some extra tonight wether it be walking the dog or somthing else.

Supplements: (Starting tomorrow)
Xenadrine - Themogenic Fat burner 2 caps morning 2 caps lunch time
CCB - L Carnitine with B Vitamins 2 caps morning 2 caps lunch
Tribulis - Testosterone supplement 1 cap twice a day
Animal Pak - Vitamins / Aminos / Protien aids to be taken 30 after a meal before lifting session

Favourite Past time: (when not eating or training)
Reading blogs, reading body building websites, watching movies while folding the laundry (odd I know), sleeping is high up there, working???

Food:
So far so good not too hungry. M1:Protein Shake in the morning with 1/2 cup of cooked oatmeal, M2: 1/2 cup Low Fat Cottage Cheese with fruit topping (will cut down and eliminate as the weeks go by) orange or apple if hungry, M3: Chicken Breast / Tuna & salad or steamed veg / coleslaw M4: protien bar or jerky or chicken or same as M2 or soup broth in a cup with egg whites (dry fried and cut up to look like noodels), M5: chicken or steak or fish with green veg, M6: Protien pudding or fruit or nothing - how I fit in the 6 meals is dependent on how late I work or what I'm doing excersise wise in the evening really.

Favourite Vegetable:
Asparagus - equal amount of protien to carb ratio, good boiled, BBQ (my fav), from the tin or steamed!

Favorite All time food: (Not dieting):
Sushi!!! Yummy yummy and not too bad for you!

Personal Life:
Very subduded on the social side, I haven't had an alcoholic drink since Carls Birthday in September and we don't go out so much due to the fact Carl works early (3.30am) on Sundays, and I get up at 5am at the latest during the week. Good for my goals though - sadly I fear social demands will be put on me with Christmas coming up and New Years (Yes I will drink, probably only take 2 glasses and I'll be dancing onthe tables and 1/2 a glass more to knock me out). Relationship wise, after our talk about my goals I think Carl is still somewhat reseved and expecting my training and dieting to screw around our relationship (most likley).

State of the House:
There has been masive stack of clean laundry growing in the basket- I've just been adding to it week by week and my wardrobe is in a poor state clothing folded on the floor and scattered on the floor - aim to fix that situation soon. Kitchen very clean, chores done this morning before I went to work and first lot of laundry folded for us this monring before work out ( I got up at 4.20am) watched part of a movie as I folded. Have decided to be spitefull and be 'Perfect Girlfriend' to see what reaction I get - have to do house work things in the morning, but I don't mind getting up at 4.30am - will have to to fit in first meal (Shake before training) from now on. I think I will do this week on and week off. I want to prove that I can train as hard as I damn well want and things around the house and our lives will not fall apart!

Bank Balance:
Got paid to day adn have blown over $300.00 (supplements and tanning bed sessions and food). it's ok though.

Major worries:
None really, I think I need to pull my head out at work - not focused on my job - things are plodding along ok but I could do better and put in more effort to be the 'Perfect employee' too.
Money - once I get into a shape I feel comfortable with to enter final preparation to compete I will need a nutritionist, choreography, out fits, coaching, and personal training money money money! OUCH!

Special Treat:
Sun bed sessions - begin today, bliss, power nap between work. Had a bath on Sunday too first time for a long time - will make it happen more oftern.

Time of day:
Love 4.30am time to myself before working out.
Hate between 3-5pm at work, want to eat, want to work out, want to do nothing, usually have deadlines at work.... blaaaa

Weight:
70.6 kgs as at Monday morning

Body feelings:
I know that I'm smaller than only a few weeks ago,and clothing I purchased only about 5 weeks ago is feeling looser - but I feel a little but fat and bloated, I'm not depressed or anything and my opinion about myself goes up and down - I think I'm sitting at a '6' out of 10. OK but lots of potential and improvements can be made. It's a good place to be - I would consider myself this time last year a 3-4.

2005-11-14T13:11:00.000+13:00

YUMMY YUMMY Choc Protien Pudding:

Sometimes I need a hit of choc, this weekend I came up with a great little mix -
2 packs of low Fat / Low Sugar Pudding mix (weight watchers Choc)
Mix with required cold water
2 scoops of vanilla protien powder - mixed hard out in blender and chill

- approx 250 cals but all good as a treat that's not bad for you.

LOW IMPACT Berry pudding:

Now I think I'm clever with this:

Mix 1 Sugar free jello mix (Berry flavour)
Add the required amount of hot water
add 2 scoops of Protien mix (I used vanila/Choc could be good)
blend for 1 min
transfer to blow and stir out most of the foamy bubbles
and chill

- it's even less calories than the pudding and although tastes of chemicals a bit (to be expected), it's all good as yet another 'treat'. approx 150 - 200 depending of your protien powder

2005-11-14T12:08:00.000+13:00

I've been very bad at updating my blog as of late.. here I am sitting on my butt wishing others woul dpost updates and I don't even do my own.

Great things are happening -

1) I spoke with my partner Carl and told him my dreams about competing in figure competions, he was accepting but I know we have more to disccuss about how training and dieting will impact our relationship, but it felt good to get it out in the open!

2) I have noticed in the last week a shift in my body composition and things look good - areas are difining (have to take some pics as soon as I find my charger).

3) I have commited to journaling my food intake and calorie expenditure to track my progress and see where I'm going well and what I'm doing wrong. It's good so far I have dropped a kilo. Hard work but that's what it takes!

4) I have a role model Jo Stewart - she a competitor in NZ and has a web site so I've been looking up things and finding tips to help myself work harder. check out the link for yourself. Shes competed internationally! And if I get to the starting point where I need to step things up to compete - I can inlist her help with training and diet etc as she trains women like me!

This is a picture of Jo Stewart - inspiration to me and one hell of a body to asspire to!

Jo Stewart - Physique Overall Champion 2004

2005-11-09T14:39:00.000+13:00

All or Nothing

I'm having an average week, training hard with normal cardio and my eating is good although i over ate last night eating 400 cals worth of protien bars! I played indoor netball so I thought I'd burn the extra off, but it wasn't a good game as I was so full and had flat energy to boot! I made my boyfriend drop me off about 2 kms from home and ran home - to work off the energy and frustration with how I played! Carl doesn't understand how bad I feel when I let myself down - I need to do what ever I put my efforts in to WELL. As long as I went out as hard as I can then I'm ok with not always winning. I told him I felt bad about the game and he just told me to get over myself. I don't set overlly high expectations - Just to do my best, "It's not just about turning up, it's about turning it on also!"

When I train at the gym I like to do my cardio hard, and then push myself with the weights I life - not always lifting heavier or anything but concerntrating on the body part I'm working on, doingthe correct full movement everytime - you know. That' s the same with work and play for me. If I don;t give it my all then I don't want to do it! Is this making sense? I wish he would see that's just the way I am.

If I hadn't had this mind set whilst doing BFL in my first challenges I know I would not have stuck to it and I would not be where I am today - fit, healthy, happy, smaller!

2005-11-03T17:02:00.000+13:00

Pay review up date... why is the text so small???? cause the increase was so small! Only $1,500 I was hoping for more like 3-4 (high hopes really) and I work bloody hard!
Either way for the first time I voiced my concerns and told them I want to discuss it further, and I got an appointment to discuss it further - I'm not expecting to get any more as they have pretty much set the budgets etc - but at least I've stood up for myself.

2005-11-03T11:42:00.000+13:00

Happy, good, ok ... blaah Money Money Money...

I'm pretty happy with my lot in life today - i had a good Back/Bi/Tri work out with 10mins incline walking hard and 10 runing invervals. My diet plan is still going strong - no over eating and sticking to plan.

I'm back at work and having on/off motivation but I really don't feel like I'm giving it my all this week, just getting back into the swing of things I'm guessing.

I just got a call from management and I'm going to have a pay review TODAY!!! I'm bad at these things, I ask and then don't even get met half way and I know I'm getting paid less than the girl who used to have my position I'm not a good negotiator - infact I'm a push over... we shall see I guess!

2005-11-02T13:43:00.000+13:00

Power of being positive...

I'm staying very strong with my diet and working out hard as planned, I'm proud of myself and already weight is droping off and I'm looking better both skin and body. My attitude is better, I think that is to do with the fact that I took time off from work, summer nearly being here, and getting a good amount of sleep.

DIET: I'm eating 5-6 meals all with protien every 2-3 hours, I've gone back to taking Thermodynamx (EAS) and of course a multi-vitamin every day. I am how ever drinking 1-2 carbonated diet (Sugar Free) energy drinks the carbonation and caffine osn't so good really but it's giving the burst I need. Always drinking water water more water...and herbal teas too the water and teas are making my skin look really healthy - I had TOM on holiday and by not drinking enough water I had a brake out (which I'm not used to - just the odd couple once in a while).

PLANNED WORKOUT: I'm still following the 4 day split (Chest/Shoulders, Quads/Calves, Back,/Bi's & Tri's, Glutes/Hamstrings/Calves) with abs 2-3 sessions a week. I'm still not injecting enough cardio only 20 - 25mins max.

WEIGHT LOSS: I have shifted the 1.5 kilos I put on last week on holiday (water weight etc), and am well on the way to my first goal of 69kgs this seemed like such a dream this time last year - I was happy with 96kgs at the time, which was the first of many mini targets I set along the way. just 2.8 kgs to go. I know it's not all about weight but from here I won't be so focused on numbers, and work more of proportion, and shape - I know at the end of the day when I'm happy with the shape the numbers on the scale will be right!

DREAMING: I had great feed back regarding figure competitions (a few posts ago) and am looking to the future and competing - I'm dieting as if I was, trial if I can follow it and have the will power. I go to sleep, and my last thoughts are of competing... I'm excited to test myself.

2005-11-01T09:39:00.000+13:00

It's a beautiful day!!!

Oh it's good to be back into my routine, had a great work out at the gym this morning, I love my Chest/Shoulders day and had a good cardio session: 20mins interval - burned off 279 calories yippy. And I'm playing indoor netball tonight - that'll burn another 200-300 calories no problems. My metabolic rate will be pumping today with all this activity, all the better to burn fat with!

Last night I tried the Stallone™ High Protein Pudding I tried the Chocolate flavour, chilled in the fridge as per the instructions. I chilled two cans and gave one to my boyfriend to try, at first he liked it but then 1/2 way through the after-taste got to him, and if I'm truthfull I noticed it too. I'm used to the fake flavours and after tastes that come with the protein / low fat / low carb type of products, but he is not. It' s expensive in New Zealand $20 for a case of 4, but for me it's a good way to get in a last protein meal with low cals (100) and satisfy a sweet tooth, after dinner snack.

Well I'd best get back to work, I've got alot to do, this blog is like a small mental break for me, to get things off my chest and then get back into it with a clear head.
I just love this picture I took while on holiday - ahhh to be swimming right now...

2005-10-31T14:42:00.000+13:00

I went on Holiday!!!

Well for the first time in a long time I took a week off work and we went on a road trip in our Camper Van around the North Island of New Zealand.

We live in Auckland so drove south about 6-7 hours to get to a small town called Marton to visit with friends who were renewing their wedding vows. Marton is such a small boring town! We went walking alot, but really I wanted to leave, I had only meet the couple 2 times before so didn't feel at ease staying there, plus I couldn't go to the gym which broke my planning up and interfered with my meals, I still made good choices, but it is hard ot eat on the road at the right times and the right things.

Then we went to Wellington (NZ's Capital) and spent a wonderful 3 days walking through the city, seeing the sites like the Te Papa museum, Oriental Bay, and the cable cars. The weather was really nice and sunny - but there was still a bit of a chill in the air.
This is a picture of us at Oriental Bay - they shipped the sand over only about 2 years ago, before that there was no sand, just the harbour.

After we finished seeing the sites, we drove about 3-4 hours to a town called Napier, its North East of Wellington. There was a huge earth quake in 1931 which flatten most of the town, meaning that it had to be rebuilt - this means that the Art Deco style that was all the rage back then is still previllant now! It's quite neat. The weather was fantastic also. We went to the Underwater World and Dolphin show - saw alot of animals up close.

I'm happy to be back home now though, as I was getting a bit iffy not being able to go to my gym, I went ot a friends gym in Wellington but it just wasn't the same! But I'm now back in the swing of things and back on track. Happy to be home!

2005-10-17T09:36:00.000+13:00

I have been thinking for a while about this topic and am not sure how to put it really... the question is:

Are Body Building / Figure competitions just glorified dieting, eating disorder, compulisve behaviour competitions?

This is where I'm coming from - I want to compete in a Figure Competition, and I believe I am in the process of building up muscle and striping off excess fat, I want to have a good place to start and prepare the best way posible.

In my preparation I have been researching alot, reading muscle magazines, visting Body Building sites etc... I am obsessed with this and spend a great deal of time doing this research as well as working out, planing my meals, counting calories, and eating six meals a day. By nature I am pretty compulsive and never passivley participate in anything - for me it's all or nothing. I believe that this sport is therefore ideal for me and my ways, but there is a nagging in my head that tell me that this behaviour is:

Not socially acceptable and verging on eating dissorders and obsessive exercise.
Possibly setting me up for failure - I hate not giving my all, but have a hard time eating clean all the time, if anything this is where I will go wrong.
I have heard of relationships being put to the test and breaking down due to the strains placed on partners because of the stress of training, dieting and getting run down.

Should I persue this in that case? The short answer is YES, this is a dream of mine!

Long answer, is more questions... Can I handle the social stigma of eating differently, towards the end looking different and prehaps under nutritioned right at eh end, having people comment on how healthy/unhealthy I look, and jealous people saying things and implying that I have a dissorder. When I started BFL and eating well and exercising everyday my boyfriend told me he looked up "Obsesive compulsive" on the internet and he thought I was!

Following the diet plan of a figure competitor will be testing on my will power - I like to eat! I am ok if my mind is busy but if I have time on my own I just think about eating and snacking. I make it ok in my head telling myself that it's only dried fruit its ok to eat - but then I eat the whole bag and end up eating the total carlorie alowence for the day in one sitting. Eating? Do I have the will power (over eating clould be the down fall)

My partner is ok with me going to the gym every day now, he can see the benefit, and although I have lost 2-3 cup sizes off my chest (which he misses now) he's ok with how I look. He doesn't want me to be away from home training more than once a day, but I'm going to have to do this at least in the last phase leading up to competition time. Meals, as long as I make him an alturnative of what I eat he is ok ie: adding pasta or rice to a meal to bulk it out. Mentally I get strung out already sometimes if I don't eat oftern enough, this could be a real problem, and put strain on our relationship, as it is we get under each others skin at times. Is my relationship strong enough? Will he be able to provide the support and understanding I will need?

See more questions to anwser my first questions... I think I will find the answers only when I take this challenge head on.

I took on the body for life challenge and got fantastic results!

But has BFL formed a version of eating dissorders, or were they there already? Should I compete and feed those dissorders or is this a healthy outlet?

2005-10-12T16:42:00.000+13:00

Words for the week:

FOCUS:
On my goal for training and eating

SIMPLIFY:
My life, Step 1: unclutter my office at work

POSITIVITY:
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort" - not to mention no-one likes a negative whiner!

I've been slack with my blog this week and have also not posted new pictures on tracker for some time. The truth be told, I'm not seeing enough progress and feel there' s no point in taking more pictures that look the same... I'm being strong, I have had 2 out of 3 days perfect eating this week and my only down fall was yesterday where I went a bit crazy and overloaded on about 250 grams of dried tropical fruit bits, it could have been worse I know, but I want this so much and yet food that is not planned still manages to work it's way into my hands - my mind is not winning every battle but I will win the war! Food mind games....

One other point I'm down about: I haven't put in the extra 5 mins cardio so far this week in my morning cardio - thing is that most times I want to keep going but because I waste so much time fluffing around getting ready in the morning, I end up with no time to extend the cardio session.

The answer is in better planing, if I have all meals strictly planned, and gym gear out ready to go I shouldn't slip up.

I need something interesting to happen in my life, this blog is boring, pretty sure it dosen't get read all that much - I should make up stories to sound interesting at least , I'll get back to ya on that one.

2005-10-11T14:20:00.000+13:00

Got a letter from the ministry of justice thrown my direction last night - my boyfriend asks "What are you in trouble for?' as I opened it I was about to joke and say the it was probaly Jury service... well it wasn't much of a joke because it was a notice to attend selection for jury service! I feel too young, isn't jury service for adults? Surley not I!

2005-10-05T14:11:00.000+13:00

Staying Strong

I'm pretty proud of myself, my diet has been spotless and I'm not tempted, I'm in the right mind frame for this to work, and it's been the boost I've needed to get my scale numbers down and already clothing is feeling just that bit bigger on my body. I'm feeling strong and fit!

This morning during my Legs (Butt/Ham/Calves) session, a guy I sometimes talk to in passing made the comment that he and his friends at the gym think that out of all the other gym goers this year I have made the most progress and been the most commited! How's that for a boost? He was surprised to find out that I work out my own training programe and don't have a personal trainer or nutritionist.

I do wish that training, and eating didn't weigh on my mind as much as it does right now though, I'm thinking of my next meal, remembering the burn of the training this morning or how hard I worked to push myself to do the 25mins cardio, I keep looking up fellow BFLer's blogs and posts on Tracker.com to see their progress and gain my tips and motivation - I'm addicted to the life style.

I went to the police station this morning to get an application for my firearms licence, I need it for work - "But I thought your were in Marketing?" I hear you ask... "Why do you need a firearms licence?" ... I do marketing for a chain of Sportsgoods stores and sometimes I may need to transport firearms etc so I need the correct paperwork to do so. I think it'll be kinda cool to whip it out for id when asked, it's not something every 26 year blonde girly girl has! Bit of don't mess with me street credit? he he he

2005-10-04T11:49:00.000+13:00

CARDIO ROCKS:
Had a great cardio session to begin my workout - as per my goals listed on Monday, I upped my cardio to 25mins and I did this on the treadmill burning 350 cal in total! I then spent the rest of the work out doing my Back and Tri's. Lat pull downs, Tall seated Row, Low seated Row, Pull ups, Tricep dips, Tri Pull downs & Over head Tri Cable pulls. I normally do Bicepts but ran out of time - I will go early to the gym tomorrow and add bicepts onto the end of my leg session (focus on Butt / Hamstrings & Calves).
My diet is much the same as always but I'm very focused!
M1: 1/2 protien Bar with 3 egg whites
+ 1 coffee,
M2: Cottage cheese 1 cup with 5 dried apricots
+ 1 Sugar Free Energy drink
M3: Chicken and mixed green veg.
H2O count so far 3 x bottles (750ml) + 1 coffee (be bouncing off the walls with so much caffine soon)

I'm meeting an old school friend for afternoon tea (green chi' tea for me). I'm not so sure why he called out of the blue, I hope he doesn't want to talk me into anything to do with his home business - I'm far to busy with work, and any free energy I use to work on sales to earn commission through the company I do marketing for. I don't want to be rude but I'm not into these website / sales / Amway / Pyrimid things ... if that's what it is. I really hope he just wants to catch up. He mentioned that he was in New Orleans when Rita hit so I'm sure he'll have stories about that also.

2005-10-03T15:48:00.000+13:00

Example of planed Calorie Intake breakdown up to meal 5
Leaving me approx 400-600 cal for last evening meal and I will still be on track.

Calories 1071.6
Protein 137.9
Fat 16.2
Carbs 97.6
Fiber 14.9
Sodium 1009.7

% of Calories:
Protien 51%
Fat 13%
Carbs 36%

Protein Powder, Whey, Vanilla [Trader Joe's]
1 level scoop, 1.1 oz=31 g
1.5 Servings:
180.0

Chicken, light meat, roasted
From 1/2 chicken, 3.8 oz=107 g
185.1

Broccoli, boiled - chopped
1/2 cup=118 ml or 2.8 oz=78 g
2 Servings:
54.6

Cheese, Cottage Cheese, Low Fat, 1% Milkfat [Lucerne]
1/2 cup=118 ml or 4 oz=113 g
1.5 Servings:
120.0

Bars, Met-Rx Protein Plus, Chocolate Fudge [Met-Rx]
1 bar, 3 oz=85 g
.65 Servings:
188.5

Apples - medium
2 3/4"=7 cm dia or 4.9 oz=138 g with skin
71.8

Oranges - large
3 1/16"=7.8 cm dia or 6.5 oz=184 g
86.5

Chicken, light meat, roasted
From 1/2 chicken, 3.8 oz=107 g
185.1

Calorie Balance: 1,072 consumed - 0 burned = 1,072 gained